Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Return to Running

Thanks to my stubbornness and insistence upon working out up until the day I delivered, I only had to take a two-week hiatus from weight training. I held out until 4 weeks for running, just to be safe. I've pretty much picked up where I left off, with a 6 workout/week schedule that I'm trying to turn into 7. 3 days of running, 3 days of weights, and I really need a 4th weight day in there. Not sure how I'm going to make that work, since I like having one day completely off and I don't want to wedge a two-workout day in there.

The next race on my horizon is the Cincinnati Half Marathon, which is coming up in October. I briefly thought about training for a fall full, but I didn't know how I'd be feeling (strong!), didn't know how ramping up the mileage would affect my milk supply (it hasn't!) and didn't know if I'd be able to swing traveling a few hours from home and a motel stay (probably not). I settled on trying to PR in the half, instead. I ran the Heart Half in 1:51 March 2012. That's my current half marathon PR. Right now I'm *kind of * training to run a 1:45 half, but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. My body isn't used to running as fast as it was last summer, and I don't know that 4.5 months is quite enough time for me to get back to where I was before. I know it's possible, but I'm not exactly an elite athlete. I still have kids to take care of, a house to manage, and a job to do, so 4 hour training days aren't a regular part of my life. I'm sure as hell going to try, though!

The "track" repeats are getting easier as the weeks go by, but I'm still challenged by a 6:55/mile. My "long" runs have been maxed out at 10 so far. There's not another 20:xx 5K in my immediate future, that's for sure :)

But I'll get there. Soon.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Parenting Truth

Em is a huge fan. Charlie was an even bigger fan, back in his day. <--- see what I did there?

Pump N' Grind

There are few things weirder than going topless in the office.

Granted, I'm in a closet-like workspace with a lock on the door, but still, topless. Weeeeeeeeeeeird.

Breastfeeding was been a big "thing" for me while I was pregnant. I had all kinds of issues with Charlie - bad latch, lazy eater, sleepy baby, weight loss - the end result of which was me being 100% chained to the pump. I still provided him with a full year of breastmilk, which I file away as a great personal accomplishment. This time I wanted things to be different! And, so far, they are. I would EP again for Em in a heartbeat, but it's so much easier this time. I can just grab her and go - no need to worry about dragging the pump along, finding time to fit in enough pumping sessions to maintain my supply, finding a relatively private space to plug in (pumping isn't something I'd want to expose the general public to). I can just pop out the boob and pop on the baby. It's wonderful!

But the pumping at work part? That, I could do without. The walls are thin here. I think that's one of the top 3 worst parts about working motherhood.

Friday, August 23, 2013


It's funny how when you're waiting for something time passes by at a snail's pace. Life these days, on the other hand, is whizzing past faster than I could have ever imagined.

In some ways it feels like an eternity ago that I sat here and talked about how nervous I was for my induction and how excited I was to finally meet Baby Em - in the sense that I feel like I've always known her and that I can't remember what life was like Before.

In other ways I feel like I just blinked my eyes and my maternity leave is over (though I worked half the time I was out) and it's time to get back to real life. It's hard to believe that she's nearly three months old but at the same time it's hard to believe that I've only known her for three months.

And then there's the Big Kid - just thinking about time flying is enough to bring tears to my eyes. He turned FIVE this month. Five. Such an old number. This week, alone - on Monday he started Kindergarten, Tuesday I realized he had outgrown his carseat, and Wednesday we discovered not one but TWO loose teeth. I thought that he looked a little bigger and felt a little heavier, but wrote it off to being re-conditioned to holding a tiny baby. Nope, he's just doing what kids do.

I always thought that I wanted two kids much closer together in age, but now I can see the benefit to spacing them out. Watching the older one grow like a weed and become a new person seemingly overnight makes me appreciate these baby days even more. So for now I'm content to enjoy the weight of a warm baby napping on my belly (we'll pretend that sleeping anywhere else is even an option for her) and soak up as many cuddle hours as possible, because I can see the overwhelming evidence in front of me that these days that feel like an eternity of sore boobs, sleepless nights, diapers, and laundry, will be gone before I know it. Before I'd like.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Well Hello There

So I'm unofficially back "at work," meaning we have a tight summer deadline to meet every year and since there are only two of us who work on it, I'm taking one for the team and working some hours every week to make sure that it gets done on time.  Thankfully, we're settling into a good nap schedule, so I've got two 2-hour blocks during the day when she's normally asleep. I've missed blogging and I have a lot to say, so now that I'll be back in front of a screen for part of the day, I'll be back online.

Things would be a lot easier if I could get the hang out of either breastfeeding with no hands or phone-typing with one hand, but I'm adept at neither of those right now :)

Monday, June 24, 2013


I know all babies kind of look the same, but this is uncanny. Or maybe it's just me.

Baby E's Birth Story

It's only been 4 weeks, may as well get this going before I forget everything. It's very long (we started at 8:00 and she was born 15 hours and 58 minutes later), so skip it if you don't want lots and lots of details.
Short version: Pitocin induction at 41 weeks, no pain meds, shoulder dystocia, healthy baby girl.

Long version:
So after all of my attempts at natural labor induction failed, I broke down and scheduled a hospital induction for 41 weeks, exactly. My anxiety just wouldn't allow me to go any further - visions of Many Awful Things danced through my head. I spent the weekend visiting with my sister and resting up for the main event, though I did get one last pregnant workout in on Sunday, and even managed to PR on my bench press. Hooray for strong pregnant women!

As I posted early that morning, I got pretty much zero minutes of sleep that Monday night. I had woken up at some point with contractions so I spent the night pacing around the house and wandering the neighborhood in hopes of getting things going before they had to drug me. Of course, it didn't work. By the time the sun came up the contractions were weakening and eventually stopped altogether. I made sad faces and ugly cried.
We spent the last morning as a family of three at Dunkin. I enjoyed a last meal of a bacon egg and cheese bagel with a caramel latte on the side. I knew I wasn't going to be eating anything until the baby made her appearance, so I made sure to get something good. At that point, I was still expecting to eat dinner, so I didn't feel like I needed to load up on calories. We dropped Charlie off at school and headed to the hospital, where we filled out a ridiculous amount of paperwork (really, why did I fill out all of that pre enrollment stuff?). After I signed over my life, we were shown to our labor room and I changed into an uber-fashionable backless gown. I insisted on keeping my sports bra on but the tongue ring had to go. My nurse seemed ok, a very nice older woman, but when she asked me about my pain management plan and I told her that I planned to go med-free, she pretty much laughed at me. Upon examination, I was barely 2cm dilated. More sad faces, that was incredibly disappointing. If I only knew what was coming. She got the IV started (ironically, the very thing I was hoping to avoid by going natural), checked in with my OB, and we were off.

I had heard horrible things about pito.cin, even having friends go so far as to call it the "devil drug" because the contractions were so horrible. I requested that we start with a small dosage and gradually increase it, and my OB was on board with that plan, so that's exactly what we did - started with the smallest dose and turned it up when they checked my vitals every 30 minutes. Within minutes I started to feel the tightening of contractions, and braced myself for the pain. Nothing. No pain, whatsoever. That was at 8:30. The next few hours were spent walking up and down the short hospital hallways, alternated with time on the yoga ball while watching new episodes of Arrested Development. It was a good timing pattern - wander the halls, come back for vitals check and med adjustment, bounce on the ball while watching 20 minutes of TV, another vitals check, back out into the hallway. Rinse and repeat. Over and over again. At some point, the nurse insisted that I meet with the anesthesiologist so that my history would be on file when I finally broke down and asked for the epidural. Thanks for the vote of confidence, lady. The hours continued to tick by and I still wasn't feeling any pain from the contractions. Husband thought that was a good thing, but I knew better. No pain, no gain - I was sure that the contractions were completely unproductive. An internal exam mid-afternoon confirmed my suspicion - I was about 3cm. How's that for no fucking progress? Insert more sad faces and some frustrated tears. At this point, it was almost time for shift change and I knew that there was going to be no baby that evening. My OB finally swung by around 6:00 to check on things. He was pretty much zero help. He confirmed that I had made very little progress and gave me three options - I could stop the induction, go home, and try again in a few days (absofuckinglutely not!), I could stop the induction for a few hours and then start it again (hoping that maybe it was just a bad batch of meds), or he could break my water and see if that sped things along. I opted for the water breaking. By that time I was having strong (but still painless) contractions every two minutes. Increasing the dosage wasn't going to do anything for me, and there was no way I was leaving that hospital without a baby. He got the crochet hook out, and the flood began around 7:00. And I thought I'd be cuddling a new baby by then. Ha!
A few days prior to the induction, a friend shared that walking and sitting around after your water breaks is pretty much the most disgusting thing ever. She was 100% right. I felt gross and uncomfortable, but I still kept walking the hallways in my giant diaper hoping for progress. And finally, at the far end of the hospital hallway, things started to get uncomfortable. I started to have to stop and breathe through every contraction. I had to hold onto the wall. Husband started applying counter pressure on my lower back, which helped with the pain. Finally, I felt like I was in labor. We went on walking for an hour before heading back to the room for a progress check. 5 measly fucking cm, and just barely. I was losing my mind at that point, certain that we were headed for a C-section for failure to progress. And then the new nurse stepped in and made a suggestion - she asked my OB if he could tell where the baby was positioned. He said that he couldn't, but that she hadn't descended very far yet, which was part of the reason I was going nowhere fast. It was 9:00, and she immediately had me lay on my belly in the hospital bed to try to get the baby to flip into position. Holy shit, was that ever effective. The very next contraction hit me like a ton of bricks. At this point it wasn't a matter of needing to breathe through the contractions, it was a matter of not screaming out in agony every time a new one started, which was still about every two minutes. I texted my birth assistant and told her that she should probably make her way down to the hospital. That was when time started to get away from me - the next three hours were the most painful hours that I can remember ever experiencing.
When she got there, I was lying in the hospital bed on my side, death grip on the bedrails, wailing like a banshee. She conferenced with the nurse (and I think the husband) and they all helped to pry me off of the bed into a standing position so that we could let gravity help things along. There was also talk about it being a more comfortable position to labor in - that was bullshit. It fucking hurt no matter where I was. That and I was afraid that I was going to poop on the floor - so certain it would happen that I was pre-emptively apologizing in between contractions. I actually ended up laboring on the toilet through a few contractions and found that it was a good place for me - the positioning made it a teeny bit more bearable. Of course, by "more bearable" I mean that I could go 30 seconds into the contraction before I started screaming and begging for drugs rather than only 10. When I started asking for drugs, they suggested that I try laboring in the shower. I stripped down into my sports bra and giant pad and hot mesh undies and walked into the spray. I wish that I could report feeling instant relief, but I'd be a lying liar who lies. The best I can say for the shower is that it took the edge off. A little. The biggest problem with the shower was that there was nothing to grab onto when the contractions hit, so I was literally clawing at the walls trying to make it through each one. And they were still right on top of each other. I made my way back to the bed for a vitals check and asked for an internal while I was over there - much disappointment when they told me I was only at 7cm. By that point I was absolutely exhausted and in so much pain that I couldn't think straight. The worst part was when I begged the nurse to turn off the pito.cin, just for a few minutes so that I could rest - she broke the news that the drugs had been off for a while, and now my body was actually in labor and doing what it was supposed to be doing. I can only remember little bits and pieces of what was going on during this time. The one conversation (if you can even call it that) that I do recall is the husband telling me that I didn't need the drugs - that I had run marathons and that I had run in Leadville and that if I could do that, I could do anything. I distinctly remember screaming back at him that "There are no medals in the pain Olympics!" I guess the Bump has rubbed off on me. There was no end in sight. Or so it seemed. A few big contractions later, my body suddenly developed a mind of its own and I could feel myself involuntarily bearing down and pushing. I yelled for the nurse, who came running insisting that it was way too soon since I was only at 7 ten minutes earlier. It was a surprise to all of us when she declared me fully dilated, and then ran out to call my OB. They didn't think he'd make it in time, so they also had the hospital OB paged to the room. They put me in the bed on my hands and knees and I started the next phase of labor, getting the baby out.
For as long as the day was, this part was super fast. Again, I only remember little bits and pieces, plus things that have been relayed to me after the fact. Early on, things were going smoothly. I was making good progress and using my breathing techniques and vocalizations (I can't even type that without feeling like a tool, but it actually worked) to focus on the muscles I was using. The nurse, birth assistant, and husband were really great at helping me to refocus when the pain got too intense and I started screeching and resisting, rather than being productive. They kept telling me that I was "almost there" and (from what I've been told) I kept accusing them of lying to me and tricking me and just being big meanies, overall (apparently this is also when I went on a rant about scientology and their silent birth technique and how it's got to be total bullshit because no one could possibly be silent through that kind of agony). Perhaps most embarrassingly, at one point when they said (in encouragement) "I can see the head!" I told them to "just pull it the hell out already!" I was a real treat to be around, it's probably for the best that I don't remember this very clearly. I pushed and pushed and busted a blood vessel in my eye and just kept waiting for that "ring of fire" that I knew was coming, except that it never did. And then all of a sudden there was a big commotion and everyone was rushing around and telling me that I needed to stop screaming and focus and there were hands on my flipping me over onto my back and someone else jumping and pushing on my stomach and I didn't know what was going on except that I heard the nurse call for a special care team to come to the room and then I got scared and panicked and had to be redirected to breathe and concentrate and be productive. The nurse very calmly but clearly told me that I needed to get my shit together and focus, because I needed to get the baby out NOW. And then I knew that something wasn't going right, and I pushed with all of my might and ohmyfuckinggod it hurt but she finally popped out - but she was purple and not making any noise and then I totally lost my shit and started crying and yelling for someone to tell me that she was ok and asking why she was purple and why she wasn't crying. They held her up to show me while they were cutting the cord and then whisked her away to the incubator. The 30 seconds before I actually heard her cry felt like an eternity, especially because no one was telling me what was going on. And then she did, and it was the most wonderful sound ever. And I heard them calling out the apgars and she passed with flying colors. And then they called out the birth weight - 8 pounds 8 ounces. And my exact words were "Are you fucking kidding me?!" A full pound and some change bigger than Charlie was. Figures this would be the time I'd decide to go med-free. But I didn't tear! It's a minor miracle.
After the drama was over I got the full story - shoulder dystocia. Her shoulders were too wide and were getting stuck on my pubic bone. The flipping over and jumping/pushing on my stomach was the attempt to get her shoulders free and to slide under the bone. I was eventually told that there's a four minute window that they have to get the babies unstuck and delivered before they go long enough without oxygen that brain damage becomes an issue - she was stuck for two minutes. It was a horrible birth experience, and it could have ended very badly. Thankfully, I have a happy and healthy 4 week old. No nerve damage, which is another concern with shoulder dystocia. And ever so cute. I'm so glad that I had such a great support team. The next morning, my OB came to check up on me and said that if I had given in and gotten the epidural the birth certainly would have ended with an emergency C-section, at best, because I wouldn't have been able to actively help get her out. I have to say, that if this had been my first birth experience I probably wouldn't have had another baby. We're done at two, anyway, but I have no desire to ever go through something like that again. It hurt. A lot.

Other random thoughts:
1. It's completely inappropriate for nurses to weigh in on politics. I didn't need to know that my first nurse was anti-Obama. I ignored her many comments because she let me cheat and drink water while I was in labor.
2. Pain does funny things to people - one of the other conversations I don't remember was me continually referring to my hospital garb as my "fashion gown." Between that, the scientology, and the medal for the pain Olympics, my second nurse specifically came to tell my recovery nurse how much she enjoyed my sarcasm.
3. Older medical personnel struggle mightily with electronic health records. I'm oddly fascinated with them, so I watched every time she made an update. I caught quite a few mistakes, including her pulling up the wrong patient on two occasions. That could have been a very serious mistake. This is a problem.
4. My recovery this time was nothing. I was up and walking around within hours and started working out two weeks later. I had an episiotomy the first time and I'm pretty sure I still couldn't sit two weeks later. Yay for no tearing!
5. Going pain med free was totally worth it, just for the fact that I avoided a C-section. There was clearly no way that I could have known that in advance, but I'm glad I made that decision. Even though it sucked and I begged for drugs during transition. I didn't realize how rare it was to go epi-free at this hospital and I'm still annoyed that the first nurse was so dismissive of my plans.
6. The next day my OB told me not to worry about the screaming and yelling. Ummm, ok... I wasn't, until you said that. WTF?

7. If you're going to use a birth assistant, make sure they're willing to stand up FOR you and stand up TO you. When I was begging for the drugs, both my assistant and my husband did a great job at reminding me why I was going without it to begin with (even though I kept pointing at the IV bags and telling them "THAT is the reason why I was doing it, so it doesn't fucking matter anymore." And yes, direct quote. When it was all said and done, husband told me that he knew I didn't "mean it" because I was asking for permission, not telling them that I wanted the drugs. He said that he knew me best, and that if I had really NEEDED them then I would have DEMANDED them. Not asked for permission. True story.

8. When I received my hospital bill I was shocked to see a line item for an epidural. I guess they just assume that everyone gets one, and when I called to argue the bill they insisted that I must be mistaken and just not understood that I had an epi. So look carefully!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Baby E is Here!

Sorry to keep you all in suspense, but Baby E arrived safely last Tuesday at 11:58PM. All 8.5 pounds of her. Holy huge baby! My Blogger app picked a heck of a time to stop working, and my days have been full of feeding. There is, of course, a very long story associated with the whole event. That will come later.

For now, picture of baby squish!

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Final Countdown

I can't get this song out of my head, partly because sister and I have been watching the new episodes of Arrested Development (plus some old classics to set the mood) and partly because I'm still pregnant, but not for very much longer. I'm going in at 8:00 for an induction. It's something that I never wanted to do, given the possible negative side effects, but the OCD part of my brain can't handle the what-ifs of going much past 41 weeks. Which I am, today.

I should be sleeping, but I've been up since 1:30 with timeable-but-not-painful-enough contractions. I'm trying to get them to turn into something more substantial by not going to sleep, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret this decision. Not like I was sleeping well before they started, anyway - how could I? It's like Christmas eve and the night before the first day of school multiplied by a million. Squared.

Friday, May 24, 2013

A Song

Happy Friday to me,
Happy Friday to me!
I'm still fucking pregnant,
So stop calling me!

(inspired by a fellow past-edd mom)

I would love to post this on the facebooks, but i know everyone is well meaning. I have one big conference call this morning and then I'm taking myself off work. I can't take advantage of sleeping late, because i keep waking up at 5 incredibly disappointed that I'm not in labor. I'm annoyed with myself, because I've been telling myself the whole time that i should count on a week late. Of course, now that the 21st has come and gone my brain is like "fuck that shit!" and i want to be done NOW. I was offered an induction for today, and while I'd like to avoid that if at all possible, I'm kicking myself right now as I sit in the basement because i have nothing better to do than work and keep up with my exercise routine. If i make it to another round of upper body work on Sunday I'm going to be very sad.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

40 Weeks - Jackfruit

What the what?

How far along: 40 weeks. Ding! Fries are done.

Total weight gain: 30

Sleep: I'm anxious and impatient and not sleeping well. Plus it's been so fucking hot here that it's impossible to sleep, and I just convinced the husband that we needed the A/C two nights ago. Last night was horrible, I just couldn't get comfortable.

Exercise: Still going, better this week than last week, actually. Had my membranes stripped at the OB this afternoon and then hopped on the treadmill when I got home.

Movement: Slower but more painful.

Food cravings: Trying to enjoy ice cream while I have a good excuse.

Happy or moody most of the time: My exact words this morning - "(bad night, bad night, blah blah blah...) now I'm cranky and I have to present at a data workshop today. Flying Spaghetti Monster help whoever so much as looks at me funny today."

Looking forward to: My sister will be here on Saturday! I hope the baby shows up before she does. Either way, her official eviction date has been set for next Tuesday. I'm only 2cm. Let's get this show on the road!

Monday, May 20, 2013

A Story

Twas the eve of my due date, and all through my ute
The baby was stirring, and it was no longer cute
What started out as sweet flutters and jabs
Had turned into barrel rolls and my ribs getting stabbed.

The husband is nestled all snug in our bed
While I toss and turn, no comfy place for my head.
The cat's in the hallway, yowling to come in,
The kid in the morning will ask "where's my sister?!" again.

When all of a sudden, as things looked so bleak,
I sprang from the bed when I felt a small leak.
To the bathroom I flew, this could be it!
But no, I just peed on myself. Again. This is shit.

The moonlight shone down on my belly so large,
While baby danced in delight - "ha! you thought YOU were in charge!"
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a glistening new stretch mark tracing over my rear.

Now come on! You're kidding me! I've come so far!
With one day left to go and my bag packed in the car?!
I couldn't be spared from this one pregnancy ail?
The lotioning and oiling was one giant fail.

Spicy food, pineapple, running don't work,
Neither does sex - that Old Wife is a jerk.
I've tried all the tricks, without any success,
I should just face the facts - baby knows best.

And so here I sit, impatient and bitchy,
The heartburn and joint pain are making me twitchy.
The baby still growing, a pound a day, there's no doubt,
For maximum impact when she makes her way out.

Discomfort is making me desperately plea
To the creature still holed up and comfy in me:
Come on, baby girl! This is total baloney!
If you come out soon, I'll buy you a pony.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Comic Relief

I'm still here. This makes me feel better. That and Biscoff Cookie Spread. And the fact that I'm not going back to my office next week.

Watch "Mother Fucker Phone" on YouTube

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day!

You know what sucks? When you wake up in the middle of the night thinking that maybe your water broke, but no, you just peed yourself. Hooray!

I've finally reached the stage of pregnancy where everyone thinks it's ok to comment on how HUGE I am. HUGE. HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE belly you've got there! And the "You must be so uncomfortable!" No shit. Could you tell by my amazing cankles? Or was it the fact that my face is bright red because I'm always overheated? Is it because I'm breathing heavily with the effort of walking up five flights of stairs after the building was evacuated? No, wait - it must be the fact that I'm wearing what amounts to a muumuu with flip flops in the office. I'm just a step away from Wal-Mart. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I'm glaring at you with rage just for standing in my area. You want to make me feel better? Go away.

Do you like my "I don't give a flying fuck" face? I'm wearing that specifically for today, because I have a four hour strategy meeting on the calendar. It's my own personal hell.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

39 Weeks - Watermelon

Watermelon is one of the best fruits in existence. If you're looking for a nice summer drink, try this ( if the link doesn't show for you). We discovered it last summer, and I can't wait to have one in a few weeks.

How far along: 39 weeks.

Total weight gain: 30

Sleep: Somewhat better, though turning over is pretty much impossible. Plus there's the whole getting up to pee at 2:00 every morning, like clockwork. And the damn bird who wakes up shortly after. What happened to birds waking up with the sun?

Exercise: I'm slowing down, but still staying active. Haven't run much since the Pig, but that's because I can't drag my ass out of bed anymore. I did have to cut a workout short one morning last week, I just couldn't finish it. Oh well.

Movement: Starting to slow down, which freaks me out.

Food cravings: I discovered Biscoff Spread, and my life will never be the same.

Happy or moody most of the time: I am one cranky bitch.

Looking forward to: The end, though I'm glad that I won't be missing Charlie's pre-K graduation on Thursday. Other than that, I'm over it.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Snocaps, Snack bag of Doritos, and Tucks pads

What is... Reasons CVS needs a you-scan station?

Yeah, that's pretty much the same look the male cashier had on his face, too.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

38 Weeks - Pumpkin

I was so excited when Woodchuck came out with Pumpkin cider. It was a huge disappointment. But even that is starting to sound really good right about now.

How far along: 38 weeks.

Total weight gain: Still 28 pounds. Maybe I'll stay that way?

Sleep: An hour at a time before I have to change positions.

Exercise: Morning workouts are disappearing quickly, thanks to the aforementioned sleep issues. I ended up doing the half Pig, but really wish I had done the full. More on that later!

Movement: It's been hard to get used to the new position. I feel things in completely different places and it's weird. The vertex position also makes it harder to walk (and run) because there's a lot more pressure on my bladder. Rather unpleasant.

Food cravings: I may have eaten half of a veggie pizza for dinner last night. Yes, half. Don't judge me.

Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.

Looking forward to: The end. I'm torn because I have a lot of things to do at work between now and the 17th. But all things considered, I'd be happy with her coming sooner rather than later.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Locked and Loaded!

So after a 90 minute wait at the OB's office this morning we got the best news possible when I hopped up on the table. At some point between 10:00 yesterday morning and 11:30 this morning, she flipped! Best. News. Ever. Really. And totally unexpected. I didn't feel a thing.

I was all

Whee! Flying Pig? Game on!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Short Update

Still breech. Booooooo.

ECV attempt at 10:00 tomorrow morning. If that doesn't work, they'll let me try again at 38, 39, and 40 weeks. If none of those work, we'll attempt a natural delivery as long as she stays butt-down. If she moves her feet underneath that changes things quite a bit and will probably result in a c-section.

I don't want to be cut!

Hump Day Bump Day!

I made Charlie take a picture of me after my long run on Saturday. It really was a great 10 miles, I felt good and ran happy and actually averaged a 12:30 pace, even with the walk breaks. Being conscious of my cadence helps a lot.
The picture was important because it very well may have been my last long run for a while, depending on whether baby girl has moved into the correct position or not. If she isn't head down, they'll try to flip her tomorrow morning. What I do in the Pig is completely dependent on how that goes. At this point, I definitely want to do the whole thing! I realized that last week when I was so disappointed thinking that it might not be a possibility, at all. I want the bling!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

37 Weeks - Winter Melon

Never tried it. More important than fruit commentary, is that I'm now officially full term! Of course, that means jack shit in terms of baby arrival. I remember how excited I was to hit 37 weeks with Charlie because ZOMFG! He could come at ANY TIME! And then the days kept ticking by and my due date came and went and wow, did that suck. So let's just say I have four weeks left, mkay?

How far along: 37 weeks.

Total weight gain: Same as last week, 28. Maybe I've plateaued? I visited a friend of mine yesterday to pick up some baby gear she's loaning us and she shared some cupcakes. I ate one in the pleasure of her company and then took the other one home with me "for later." Yeah, it was gone before I was even on the highway. Do you know how hard it is to eat a cupcake and drive a stick? Not as hard as NOT eating the cupcake!

Sleep: The anxiety over the breechness is making sleep nearly impossible.

Exercise: It's getting harder to motivate myself to get out of bed before 5 to get in my cardio workouts. I had a great 10 mile run on Saturday, though, so I'm really excited about the Pig again! At the minimum, I'll be able to walk the half. I'm still hoping for the full. It all depends on how things go this week.

Movement: I wish I wasn't so bad at figuring out what's poking me where. I have absolutely no idea whether any of my spinning babies attempts are working. More on those later!

Food cravings: Everything gives me heartburn.

Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.

Looking forward to: Finally finished sewing the diapers back together. I panicked yesterday because we have nothing on the walls of her room, so I'm printing out some of my favorite female book characters to frame. Still no fabric for the sling.

Let's get this show on the road!

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The View From Down Here

They confirmed that Baby Girl is still breech at my 36 week appointment yesterday. That's not good. The soonest they could get me in to attempt an external version is next Thursday. Thankfully, the head OB at the practice I switched to halfway through my pregnancy is a local celebrity as far as spinning babies goes.

In the meantime, I'll step it up on the flipping techniques I've been doing every so often, including moving to the full inversion, which for me involves hooking my legs over the back of the couch and hanging upside down off the side. Too bad we cheaped out and bought an IKEA ironing board, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't support my weight.

I'm really stressing out about this, so please cross your fingers that she spins for us in the next few days! I really don't want to have a c-section. The OB I'm with is also a local celebrity for breech deliveries, so that option is also on the table.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day!

Last week one of the ladies in my office insisted on lining up the pregnant women for belly shots. So no bathroom selfie this week!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I feel like a whale, but I had a stranger tell me how cute I was on my Saturday run and then someone else comment on my "tiny belly" in the elevator on Monday, so maybe it's just in my head.

Except the largeness of my ass and thighs. That shit is real, yo.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

36 Weeks - Honeydew

Is this the green one?

How far along: 36 weeks. And time is standing still.

Total weight gain: 28

Sleep: It's actually been better, comfort-wise. Still a pain (literally) to switch sides in the middle of the night, but at least the hour in between each position change is somewhat restful.

Exercise: Still moving. Nothing new.

Movement: I'm afraid that she's flipped again, since all of the hiccups are at the top of my belly. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Food cravings: Hot Buffalo Wing Pretzel Pieces. Yum!

Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.

Looking forward to: Still haven't made progress on finishing the diapers. Still haven't bought fabric for the sling. NOT looking forward to my Group B test at my appointment tomorrow. Talk about being violated.

Monday, April 22, 2013

2.6 for Boston

Tonight, running groups all over the country did 2.6 mile runs and walks in honor of Boston. Of course, I dragged the family out to the one in our area. They were somewhat reluctant - husband because of his bad knee and kid because there were no medals involved, but they indulged my craziness and didn't complain too much :)
There were so many people out for the fund raiser! It's nice to be able to do something from so far away, even if it's so tiny. There were over 100 runs that took place tonight, and that's pretty amazing. I love the running community!
Here's a not-the-best picture of me and the kid. He actually made it most of the route, husband only had to piggy back him a few times.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Anxiety, Again

When I originally started my blog, the intent was to keep my out of town friends and family posted on pregnancy updates. There are a lot of them, and phone calls would have had me occupied for hours. It was just the easiest way to keep everyone in the loop. Since then, they've pretty much all stopped reading, and it's become somewhere that I can speak more candidly about life. I wish that I had started doing that last time, so that I could go back and read and remember exactly when things happened and what it was like.

For example, I know that there was a point late in my last pregnancy when the anxiety started to get really overwhelming. It had been slowly getting worse, but there was a tipping point when I went through multiple sleepless nights worrying about whether the screening tests had missed a genetic disorder and then questioning whether he would have all of his arms, hands, legs, and feet, because  I couldn't remember seeing them on the ultrasound. That was when I decided to ask for medication. Because I wasn't being fully honest with my reading audience, I don't remember exactly what that point was. I do, however, remember that it was right before my Cincinnati baby shower because the initial dosage was too high and made me nauseous and I was worried about feeling sick all day. So it was week 34 last time. Which is fascinating to me, because it's really starting to become a problem again, and I just entered week 35.

After waffling and consulting trusted friends and other resources, I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Pig yesterday. I was so excited and happy that I had finally made the choice to go ahead and give it a shot. That was during the day. Once the sun went down, and I was in bed and alone with my thoughts, it was a whole other story. What if I ran the marathon and somehow damaged my baby? What if I ended up with something worse than a damaged baby - no baby at all? Even though all of my OBs and midwives have given me the go ahead to cover 26.2 miles (and no, I have no plans to "run" all of them), thanks to the OCD I just keep conjuring up worst case scenarios. So now this morning I'm back where I started - should I do it? Should I just do the half, instead? What if something horrible happens? I know I'd never forgive myself.

But then I keep thinking - what if I didn't have OCD? Would this even be a question? Would I be worried about all of the things that could possibly go wrong? Or would I just be excited to cover the race course and get a giant medal at the end? What would a "normal" person think about the situation?

I'm not a dumb runner, I know that I'm good at listening to my body and backing off when I have to. I know that I wouldn't push myself past my pregnant limits. But what if, what if, what if?

So I think that at my 36 appointment next week I'm going to ask about getting back on anxiety medication. I can't keep sitting up all night thinking about awful outcomes. It was a good decision last time, so maybe I need to learn from that experience and take the help that's available.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

So, Boston Happened

Like hundreds of thousands of other runners, I listened to the live stream from the Boston Marathon all morning yesterday. The timing was such that I was able to watch the elite runners finish while I was eating lunch. I spent some time talking to one of my co-marathoners in the office, and his excitement about his attempt to qualify for next year's Boston Marathon in this year's Flying Pig. I told him that I hoped to post a qualifying time sometime in 2014 so that I could run Boston in 2015. Of course, we both wished that we had run faster last year, trained harder, started earlier, been a little bit better, so that we would be running through the streets of Boston yesterday morning instead of talking about how amazing the experience would be over stale coffee in our office lunchroom.

After the big finish, I went about my day. Until someone texted me with the news - that there had been explosions at the finish line and that it seemed like they were intentionally placed. Um, what? Another terrorist attack? At a marathon? And not just any marathon, but the biggest national marathon stage that any runner could ever aspire to be on. Today it seems that the death toll was thankfully low, though any loss of life in such a senseless act of violence is an absolute tragedy. In addition to the three who were killed, there were over a hundred more who were seriously injured. Hurt while either doing what they love, or while supporting loved ones who had worked so hard to make it to that finish line. And we aren't talking about the elite athletes, either - by that time it was the everyday runners - the people who are a little bit faster than the rest of the pack, but not so fast that they'll ever be given a major award. That and the charity runners, those who earned their spot in the pack by raising tens of thousands of dollars for cancer research, or heart disease, or any other incredibly worthy cause. Scary to think that it could have been me, or could have been any of the local running group people that I'm connected with (our entire local contingent made it out unharmed). So because there was nothing else that I could do, I dragged myself out of bed this morning when I really just wanted to hit the snooze button again and again, to go for a short run before work. Because so many of those people will never be able to do that again.

Marathons, more than any other event I've covered in 20 years' worth of international sports experience, are a celebration of a range of achievement, not just the top percentile. The amateurs run in the footsteps of the elite. The pride is palpable from the front ranks all the way to the back. The massed color and movement at the start are an impressionist painting of accomplishment. Because -- honestly -- most normal folks would tell you that getting there is achievement enough. The training they invest and the self-belief they develop in the process are worth it, no matter how long it takes them to finish.

Beyond that, the Boston Marathon is a collective civic experience, a holiday with more than a century of history. Planting lethal bombs at any point on the course would have been a horrible, criminal act. The symbolism of planting them at the finish line, where so many have lifted their arms in exultation, is unbearable. (Bonnie Ford, ESPN)

35 Weeks - Coconut

You know what is one of the biggest food-related disappointments, ever? Coconut water. Wouldn't you think it would be tasty and refreshing? Not so much.

How far along: 35 weeks. I'm getting huge. A whole patch on my belly is completely numb, I'm assuming it's where the skin is stretching. This didn't happen last time. According to The Bump, she won't be getting any longer but will be getting bigger, so I guess that's good in terms of how my skin will fare.

Total weight gain: 27. Should hit that magic 3-digit scale number sometime this week.

Sleep: Nope. I hate sleeping on my sides. One of the things I'm most looking forward to is sleeping on my back again. Plus, husband had a man-cold, so he's been sniffly and snore-y and coughy and up almost as many times during the night as I am.

Exercise: Glad that I kept on keeping on, because I had a great 16 miles on Saturday. Only stopped to pee three times. I'm excited about the Pig again! Going to give it a shot, the worst that happens is I'm not feeling it that morning and I drop to the half.

Movement: Bigger, more defined, and more painful. But it's funny, and I'm trying to enjoy it since this is my last pregnancy, ever.

Food cravings: I had some Dogfish Hopricot last weekend and now it's all I can think about.

Happy or moody most of the time: Already annoyed with all of the "how much longer?" and "are you uncomfortable?" inquiries.

Looking forward to: Need to finish up the diapers. I got the laundry tabs sewn into all of them but only one set of Velcro on. Husband put the ceiling fan up last night, so all that's left is organization of clothes and diaper washing. And making that damn ring sling.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Monday Monday

One of the worst parts of pregnancy is the complete inability to find a comfortable position in bed. However, the tossing and turning and constant waking up and repositioning also makes it really convenient when I want to get up early to get a workout in. I usually reserve the super early morning sessions for running, but this morning I decided to go ahead and get my quick weight session over and done with. My legs will thank me on my run tomorrow morning. 24 hours of rest between squats and run is a much better way to go than 9 hours of rest.
This quick workout has mostly replaced my lower body lifting days, since the squat bar was getting to be too much to handle and the bump was getting in the way of my deadlifts.
goblet squats - 5 sets of 20, 25# KB
50 kettlebell swings, 25# KB
calf raises - 3 sets of 20, 25# KB
tricep extensions - 3 sets of 15, 20# KB
lots and lots of stretching
I also celebrated Monday with a special breakfast. Nutella Stuffed Cinnamon Sugar Muffins. You don't even know how jealous you should be.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

16 Miles

I made it! It wasn't bad, i could definitely do another 10. The time it took me to do 16 is sadly close to my full marathon time from last spring :)

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Feeling Hopeful!

I had another decent run this morning. Granted, it was only 4 miles, but considering I didn't make it that far on Saturday, I think that's a good sign. It was more humid than I would have liked it to be, but the wind was picking up in advance of the rain, so it was pleasant. I love running on spring mornings.

I also saw my neighbor ladies walking their dogs. You know, the ones who haven't spoken a word to me since their candidate lost the presidential election? I guess the warmer weather and lighter skies have melted their cold and bitter hearts, because I actually got a "good morning" from them.

Giving 16 miles another try this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

34 Weeks - Butternut Squash

Charlie gets stars on his star chart for trying new foods. He's been hung up on trying squash for a while now, maybe we should try to incorporate that into our weekly menu.

Yes, I'm late this week.  Yesterday it was 80+ degrees out, so I went to the park instead of writing a blog post. Sue me.

How far along: 34 weeks. Not far enough. I'm impatient and anxious and uncomfortable. Moreso than last time, I think. I know that I'm bigger than I was with Charlie because at my Monday appointment they said that she was "measuring right on track," and that's not something I'd ever been told with Charlie - that belly was always a few weeks behind. I hope that doesn't mean I'm going to have a huge baby. According to The Bump, baby can now recognize songs that I sing and might be soothed by them when she's on the outside. This was actually true with Charlie, and his favorite song was "In My Life" by The Beatles. Guess maybe I should switch to something other than 99 Problems?

Total weight gain: I think it's 27. I guess I'm keeping pace with that "pound a week" thing.

Sleep: I actually had two decent nights of sleep. Then we skipped right from winter to summer and it's really freaking hot in my room.

Exercise: I had a horrible run on Saturday. HORRIBLE. As in, I quit 2.5 miles in. I've never done that before. Thankfully, I had a good run yesterday morning, so I haven't given up completely. Giving it one last shot this weekend before I throw in the towel and drop to the Half Pig.

Movement: Regularly. Both Charlies get freaked out by watching it, which I think is hilarious. The younger Charlie always wants to hug his sister and feel her feet, but he wasn't a fan of the hiccups. He also enjoys it when I put things on my belly and she kicks them off.

Food cravings: Pizza and beer.

Happy or moody most of the time: Both. Because I said so.

Looking forward to: Managed to get all of the Velcro tabs off the old diapers. Holy hell was that a pain in the ass. Still trying to convince the husband that I really don't need to be driving to visit out-of-town family and sleep on an air mattress at 35 weeks pregnant. If he sees the light, I plan to sew on the new Velcro tabs and make my ring sling this weekend.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day

As much as I have the best intentions of getting a "real" picture taken, I'm still left with nothing but bathroom selfies. I don't think I've EVER worn a pink shirt.

Also, why do pretty much all maternity shirts have those annoying elastic-y sleeves? I feel like they make my arms look like sausages. So unflattering.
PS. I've decided that Wednesdays will be my "eat whatever I want for lunch" days for the next 7 (8?) weeks. Today, I present to you the Nutella Milkshake. With strawberries, for health. But seriously, it's skim milk and nonfat froyo, so it's not as bad as it sounds. Be jealous.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

33 Weeks - Durian Fruit

Durian Fruit?


How far along: 33 weeks. I'm ready to be done.

Total weight gain: +/- 26 - I'm starting to wonder how much I would have gained had I not been working out regularly. The thought scares me. I don't feel like I'm eating badly, either. I'm about a week away from a significant psychological scale milestone. I know it's coming, I know it's not a big deal, but I know that I'll still be OMFG! when I see it. Oh well. It doesn't help that I feel huge and I'm trying to figure out where seven more weeks of baby is going to go.

Sleep: Thanks to the creeping anxiety, it's getting worse.

Exercise: Made it 14 miles on Saturday and could have kept going! Backing off the squats with "real weights" for now, since I can't bend my legs even close to parallel anymore. Bringing back the kettlebells, instead.

Movement: I've got feet in my ribs, which is uncomfortable, but I'm happy with that because that means she's head down!

Food cravings: Chocolate. The Easter Candy Clearance was good to me.

Happy or moody most of the time: Both. Because I said so.

Looking forward to: Hoping to carve out some time to be productive this weekend - ordered the replacement Velcro for our BumGenius 3.0 collection and want to get to the fabric store so I can get started on the damn sling.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Hello Panic, My Old Friend

So it's been a while. I tend to shut down from important things when I'm feeling anxious and panicky, which seems to have been a lot, lately. Interestingly, I went back and looked through posts from my last pregnancy and this is about where the wheels started to fall off last time, too. Back then, I turned to chemical assistance in the form of Zoloft, which really helped a lot. 5 years later, Zoloft is no longer considered to be safe in pregnancy, so I don't have that crutch to fall back on.

Since we began exercising regularly, running and yoga and good exercise sessions have really done a lot to help me manage anxiety levels and keep myself sane. Unfortunately, those are the very things that are causing me anxiety right now, including one really awesome panic attack on Saturday. I had a lovely (sloooooooow) 14 mile run that morning, walking 3 minutes and running 3 minutes, (or some kind of slow waddle-jog that I'm pretending is "running," anyway). Somewhere around mile 13 I convinced myself that all of the running I had been doing had surely deprived my baby of much-needed oxygen and that she would therefore be born with some kind of brain damage and serious developmental delay, which would be 100% my fault. As I always do after long runs, I broke out the doppler to make sure that all was well in there, and then proceeded to nearly lose my shit after it took an excruciatingly long full minute to find the best listening spot. I won't even get into the places my brain was going.

So then I spent about an hour consulting Dr. Google (a big no-no, I get that) and getting more and more frustrated that everything in existence talked about "theoretical risks" of fetal hypoxia and decreased blood flow, but that those were just ideas and nothing had been proven by real, legitimate research, which actually continues to show that exercise during pregnancy is beneficial to both mother and baby. Because I couldn't possibly be satisfied by that, I then got to thinking what the authors of said research actually mean by "moderate and moderately strenuous" levels of effort, and worrying about whether what I thought was a perceived 7-8 effort on a scale of 1-10 was just me underestimating how hard I was working and that I was really exercising at a level of 9-10 and just not realizing it (never mind how irrational that is, because pre-pregnancy my speedwork and interval training regularly pushed me well past the 7-8 range and into the 9-10 and it was absolutely unsustainable for long periods of time).

Then I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it (you know, I OBSESSED - because that's what puts the "O" in "OCD.") and eventually worked myself up into a full-blown panic attack complete with crying and sobbing and gasping for breath. And my poor husband and my poor kid were there to see it all spiral down. And my favorite friend R, who consoled me through gchat and eventually helped to talk me down from my ledge, who continues to listen to my anxiety ridden worry-fests and uses her very scientific perspective to help me see that I'm worrying over nothing. Especially since she has an MS in biology and knows a thing or two about how these things work. And my husband, who was still dealing with the remnants from it last night, who helped me to see that if there really was a cause and effect relationship, then surely there would be research that showed it and surely my own OB (plus two others that I visited earlier on the pregnancy) would have said Hell to the No about continuing to run and planning to run a full marathon.

Did this post seem rambly? Because that's about how my brain is working these days. I wish you could take them out to check on their well-being and then put them back in to finish cooking.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

32 Weeks - Squash

I've been really bad at veggie intake. These just make me feel guilty.


How far along: 32 weeks. It's flying by and dragging ass at the same time. Funny how that works.

Total weight gain: 25ish, I guess I'm in the "pound per week" stage

Stretch marks: We've already covered that.

Sleep: Non-existent. I hate running at night. HATE. I skipped my early morning run today in favor of hopping on the treadmill later this evening because I was up from 2:30-4. Alarm went off at 4:30, just as I had finally fallen back asleep. I guess the bright side is that I was already awake when Charlie came padding down the hall because he had a bad dream about a "big smasher, that smashes people." (I giggled in my sleep-deprived state because it sounded like he was saying "dick smasher." I'm a horrible parent. And incredibly immature)

Exercise: Had a great 10-mile run on Saturday, hoping that I've figured out a good plan. Weights on Sunday and Monday, running tonight and Thursday, hoping for 14 miles on Saturday.

Movement: All the time, getting more painful as she grows. Hoping she's back to being head down at my appointment tomorrow.

Food cravings: Saturday was bad - I ran, so I don't feel as bad as I should, but I had a donut for breakfast, ice cream for lunch (I couldn't pass up the long-awaited arrival of Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz in my local grocer's freezer section!) and then a birthday party for dinner, complete with 10 different kinds of pizza, buffalo chicken dip, and possibly the best cupcakes I've ever had.

Happy or moody most of the time: It really varies hour to hour and by the company I'm in

Looking forward to: Still no progress on the moby or sling. Or the laundry. Or the room organization. Or decorating. Lots and lots to do.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Heart Mini 2013

So here it is, my hugely pregnant half marathon effort. It was ugly. First of all, the course sucks. But I knew that going in, it sucks every year. Full of non-stop rolling hills and bridges. Challenging enough when I'm setting myself up to run it in 1:51, and pretty much absolute torture 31 weeks pregnant. My hill stamina has been slowly but steadily dwindling over the past few weeks - I don't think I've made it up a full grade since January - so I knew it was going to be slow and full of walk breaks.

I probably didn't start out very smart. I had helped my neighbor train for this race, her first half marathon, so we were running together doing 6 minutes of running and 1:30 walking. After our 10 miler last Saturday I resolved to lengthen the rest intervals after the Heart Half. Probably should have done it sooner. So we started out using our standard run/walk interval, which was actually fine at first, other than the fact that I had tied my shoe too tight and my foot hurt. That started by mile 3. Then by mile 5 I realized that there was no way I could sustain our run/walk system, so I told Angie to go on ahead of me with her cousin. Just because I was headed toward a 3-hour finish didn't mean I'd need to drag her down with me! So off she went, and I was alone.

It was a whole new experience, being pretty much all the way at the back of the pack, soldiering on long after the cheering crowds had packed it in. There wasn't much to look at and there weren't many people to talk to. I set my intervals at 3 minutes running / 3 minutes walking, but then threw that out the window and decided to run the flat and downhill sections and walk the uphills. Which was fine, but holy shit, there were a lot of uphills. A LOT of uphills. And my foot hurt. Running put a lot of pressure on my bladder and walking hurt my foot, so there was really no preferred way to keep moving forward. I know I should have just stopped to pee, but there was always a line and I just wanted to keep making progress. I'll keep that in mind for the Pig, though it won't be as much of a problem because that course has much better support. By the time I hit mile 11 the run/walk had mostly turned into a walk/run/limp. The bridge from Newport to Cincinnati has never felt so long. I finally made it to the finish line with a time of 2:50:something. A full hour slower than last year, but I still felt like I had accomplished something because how many people complete a half marathon 31 weeks pregnant?

I've never been more happy to not show up in any race photos. I was an absolute train wreck by the end. As you can see, I'm flashing my trademark "smile even though it hurts" grimace.


The best part of the whole thing is that I was able to help my friend go from being a total non-runner to running 13.1 miles. And that was pretty cool to see.
Even though this experience was a total suck-fest, I'm not giving up on the Pig. I'm going to revise my run/walk strategy until I find something that works. I also need to figure out if my foot hurt because my feet have just gotten bigger/wider and, if so, whether or not I can find a running shoe that will get me through the last 9 weeks of pregnancy. So don't count me out yet!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day!

Again, a slacker pic from the bathroom mirror. Poor baby who is still unnamed.

Today is the first day of spring and the forecast is calling for a balmy 45 degrees. I'm pretty much done with winter, especially because last year at this time we were in a freakishly warm spell - we hit a record high of 83 that day. I'm not only tired of my winter maternity shirts, but I'm growing out of them! Thankfully I have a longer cami to wear underneath everything. I have a very healthy collection of spring clothes, though! Hurry the eff up!
I also keep thinking that I'm so far behind in terms of baby prep and organization, but looking back at my 2008 blog I can see that I hadn't gotten much done at this point last time, either. That makes me feel better. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to hang on the wall, though. I have lots of good ideas and sadly, they don't exist anywhere.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

31 Weeks - Pineapple

Who doesn't love a pineapple?


How far along: 31 weeks. Holy cow.

Total weight gain: 24ish

Stretch marks: We've already covered that.

Sleep: Charlie spent his first night on the couch last week. First night ever on the couch in the history of our relationship. Apparently, I snore.

Exercise: Holy shit I ran the half marathon. It hurt. More details to come, probably tomorrow, when the feeling in my foot has returned.

Movement: There are a lot of cervix jabs going on. Very unpleasant. That and she's back to breech, so I'm very unexcited by that. I did get a surprise ultrasound to verify the position, though, so that was nice!

Food cravings: I could eat.

Happy or moody most of the time: Excited to get these last 10 weeks over and done with!

Looking forward to: Still no progress on the moby or sling. I'd really like to get those done at some point. Still have a lot of organizing to do, which is something I love.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Pi Day!

I'm usually well-prepared for the annual Pi Day celebration, but it snuck up on me this year. So instead of tasty Pi, here's earworm Pi. Prepare to hate me for the rest of the day :)

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day

Another week, another crappy selfie mirror pic. This is HDBD in St. Louis! Excuse the cranky look on my face. I went to the hotel gym at 6 yesterday and every.single.piece of cardio equipment was occupied. I went at 5 this morning to guarantee myself a spot on a bike - I'm taking full advantage of being able to get in some no-impact cardio. 60 minutes on the recumbant bike isn't quite as taxing from a cardio perspective, but my legs certainly enjoyed it.

I'd say that the king-sized bed I had all to myself was nice, too, but I didn't sleep well thanks to nosebleeds. I actually snored so loud that I woke myself up, as I mentioned yesterday.

I've reached bowling ball status - I officially can't physically bend over to tie my shoes.

Yay for going home today! A full day early, and I'm so thankful.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

30 Weeks - Cucumber

I can't even talk about the fact that I've never seen a foot-long cucumber without it sounding incredibly dirty, so we'll just let that go for now.

How far along: 30 weeks, but I keep telling people I still have 11 left.

Total weight gain: Not sure, I refuse to step on the scale unless certain things have happened the night before. I'm guessing about 22.

Stretch marks: After googling pictures of stretch marks, I guess I should just be glad that mine are thin white lines. Knock on wood.

Sleep: I'm out of town in St. Louis this week (for work) and actually woke myself up snoring last night. Between that and the nosebleeds, I'm not very well-rested.

Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. Had a very rough 10-mile run on Saturday, so I'm taking advantage of the elliptical machines and exercise bikes in the hotel gym and getting in some good low-impact cardio this week. Running a Half Marathon on Sunday!

Movement: Yes, and it's starting to hurt!

Food cravings: I could eat.

Happy or moody most of the time: Crankier than usual right now, since I'm wasting my time being out of town. Sad to be away from the family. Also cranky because running is getting more difficult and I don't know what else I can do for cardio.

Looking forward to: Taking Friday off and picking out fabric for my homemade ring sling and moby wrap!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Bigger Fish to Fry

As a former catholic, that's my lame attempt at humor for a Friday during lent.

As though I needed additional stress and anxiety-causing decisions, we've had a pretty awesome opportunity fall into our laps. Charlie is currently in a Montessori pre-school class and is doing incredibly well. At the risk of sounding like one of "those parents," he's already reading and writing and spelling and working on basic math, at four. I've always been a little hesitant to send him to our local public school, for a variety of reasons, but watching him progress in his current environment just makes it even harder to happily accept - when he turns 6 and starts 1st grade, he's going to be in a class that's just beginning to develop reading skills and hasn't even considered math. There are going to be kids who don't know their letters. Which is fine - we're lucky enough to have had such a great pre-school environment for him. So the plan has always been to keep him where he is for kindergarten, and then figure out where to go from there.

Part of that "figuring out" has involved me researching the hell out of all of our local private school options. There are a ton in our area, but it was easy to narrow the list based on religion (no, thanks), proximity to home and/or office, and budget (there are three schools that charge $20K/year. AYFKM?). One of the schools that ended up on my list is a Montessori school that runs ages 3-9 and is about to expand to age 12. We set up a tour and put in an application for a first grade spot the very next day, without a lot of hope because the program is pretty much always full. A few weeks later, I got a call asking if we would be interested in starting Charlie there this coming school year, for Kindergarten. It would guarantee us a spot for grades 1-6, and guarantee his sister enrollment at age 3, as well.

And so the past week has been a whirlwind of decision making, touring the public option to make sure that we were making the right decision, budget adjusting (it's actually a $ saver), and, most importantly, figuring out how to make the logistics work. I work a normal schedule and elementary hours run from 9-3, so there has been lots of talk at work about what would be an acceptable arrangement that would allow me to continue to work a full-time schedule but still be able to run drop-off and pick-up, since the school is right down the road from my office. In addition, we're searching for a new infant care center, since husband will be the one dealing with that set of drop-off/pick-up. It doesn't make sense to stay where we are and have him drive 60 miles in a day when he works from home.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with how I'm going to manage the new work schedule and how we're going to handle a normal school calendar rather than the always-open-daycare schedule - obviously this day was going to come at some point, I just figured I had another year to worry about it! Also sad about resigning from the school we're in now - he's been there since he was 12 weeks old and we've been so happy with both their infant care and their pre-school. But in the end, I know that this is the best long-term decision that we can make, from the Charlie perspective. I think he's going to be happy there, and that's all that matters. That's what parents do, right?

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

29 Weeks - Acorn Squash

I've only had acorn squash once, at a neat restaurant when we went to Gatlinburg with my sister. It was covered in brown sugar and quinoa. The quinoa made it healthy, right?


How far along: 29 weeks - 11 to go, but I'm psyching myself up for a later delivery (again) and calling it 12.

Total weight gain: 21.5

Stretch marks: Yes, ALL.OVER my butt. See yesterday's post for formal complaint.

Sleep: What's that?

Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. Got my 16 miler in on Saturday, with a very desperate pitstop 10 miles in. Learnings:
  1. I need to get over my stage fright, I should have used the bathroom at the park but my running partner was in there with me.
  2. I miss my immodium-fueled long runs.
  3. Running 6 minutes and walking 1 minute is good for pregnant me
  4. Turn off the pace tracker on the Garmin to save ego

Movement: All the time some days, not so much on others. I can tell she's getting bigger, as the movements are very visible from the outside when she gets going.

Food cravings: I'm hungry all the time. Ravenous, really.

Happy or moody most of the time: The crankiness continues

Looking forward to: Organizing and (hopefully) Fridays off starting next week. I have a lot of stuff that I want to get done and no time to do it.

Monday, March 4, 2013

I'm Walking in a Spider Web

So leave a message and I'll call you back....

More accurately, I'm a walking spider web. As i feared, the one stretch mark that i noticed snaking across my right butt cheek last week has branched and spread like cracking glass, tracing a web of pale white lines across my already-pale derriere. I guess two pregnancies without mom scars was just too much to ask.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day

It's been a long time since I've posted a belly pic, so here you go. Probably more than you bargained for. I know how some people are about bare belly pics, but I don't care. I happen to like this one.

I still feel guilty that we've been so bad about taking pictures this time around.

I also like this one, because it makes me feel like a badass chick :)

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

28 Weeks - Eggplant

My favorite eggplant application is eggplant parmesan. It's totally a great idea to take a healthy veggie and cover it in sauce and cheese.


How far along: 28 weeks - hello third trimester!

Total weight gain: 20ish. I'm really stressing out about the whole weight thing. I can see a total of 35 in the distance, and that scares me. I've been trying to eat well and I'm obviously still exercising, but I'm so terrified that I'm never going to lose all of the weight again. TERRIFIED. I keep hearing stories from other second+ time moms about how much harder it was to lose the weight with the second one than it was with the first and it just makes me feel stabby.

Stretch marks: I'm pretty sure that I can see them, but Charlie swears they aren't there.

Sleep: I did ok last week, but then something happened on Sunday night and I couldn't sleep at all. I kept rolling onto my back and waking up because I couldn't breathe, and then rolling onto my side and waking up because the heartburn was unbearable. I think it's time to build a pillow pyramid. Or sleep on the couch.

Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. I had an awful, awful time on my Saturday run. The plan was 16 miles, I got in 14.5 before I quit. It wasn't a cardio issue, my legs just didn't want to go anymore. I've slowed my runs down, for sure, which is fine. I'd say a good 1:30/mile slower. Also doing a lot of run/walking - I run with my neighbor, who is new to running, and she does 6 minutes running /1 minute walking. When I run on my own I've been walking a minute out of every mile to make sure I'm drinking enough and walking up long, steep hills. I think part of it is a fueling issue, I obviously can't pound the caffeinated gel packs every hour and I probably need to up the calories I'm consuming while I'm running. Maybe jelly beans aren't the best option. We'll try again this weekend and see how it goes.

Movement: Still inconsistent, still has me guessing.

Food cravings: Sweet stuff

Happy or moody most of the time: I have no patience. Especially at work. I try to swallow the bitchiness, but sometimes I just sit there while someone is talking to me and I'm annoyed at their mere presence in my space.

Looking forward to: More organizing. Sorting through clothes I'm buying from a friend. A re-do of my shittastic long run.

Monday, February 25, 2013

The Name Game

When we had Charlie, the name decision was easy. If we had a boy, it was going to be Charlie. If we had a girl, it was going to be Charlotte. Neither one was really up for debate or discussion, they were both family names and were pretty much 100% set.

Nearly 5 years later, we're having a girl who obviously can't be named Charlotte. Well, obviously to husband, not as obviously to me. Sure, it would be kind of odd, but I still love the name, and it's still a family name on MY side, so we'd have both family trees well represented. But it's off the table because husband doesn't want people to think he's in any way like George Foreman. Ok, that's fine.

So I made a list of names, pulling from favorite literary characters and distant branches of the family tree and names that I had heard and filed away over the years. And then I made a second list of names, and a third, and used a site called Nymbler where you can put all of your favorite names in the search engine and it brings you back a new list of additions that have the same style as the ones you already know that you like, so that you can continue adding to the list of possibilities. And then I brought that final gigantic list to the husband. And he started vetoing and crossing things off left and right. And I was kind of sad, because some of those names were good names, but of course it's important to agree on such a big thing like the name of your child. So I brought him another list  - which may have included some of the same crossed-off names from the first, just to see if he was paying attention (he was) and if he had changed his mind (he hadn't). And at the end of the lists and the crossing offs and the discussions and the debates, we're down to two names that are very promising. Two very different names, though, which means there will probably be no final decision made until we meet her in 12ish weeks and see which one she looks like. And then I started thinking about middle names (which, hi Charlie, I think I get more say on, because our first child is 100% named after you, after all) and decided which ones I liked best. And so I've been thinking about our child and what her name will be and didn't ever really stop to write out the initials, but then I did. And we're either going to have an LAG, an EKG, or an EGG. Lucky girl.


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