Wednesday, September 4, 2013
The next race on my horizon is the Cincinnati Half Marathon, which is coming up in October. I briefly thought about training for a fall full, but I didn't know how I'd be feeling (strong!), didn't know how ramping up the mileage would affect my milk supply (it hasn't!) and didn't know if I'd be able to swing traveling a few hours from home and a motel stay (probably not). I settled on trying to PR in the half, instead. I ran the Heart Half in 1:51 March 2012. That's my current half marathon PR. Right now I'm *kind of * training to run a 1:45 half, but I honestly don't know if I'll be able to pull it off. My body isn't used to running as fast as it was last summer, and I don't know that 4.5 months is quite enough time for me to get back to where I was before. I know it's possible, but I'm not exactly an elite athlete. I still have kids to take care of, a house to manage, and a job to do, so 4 hour training days aren't a regular part of my life. I'm sure as hell going to try, though!
The "track" repeats are getting easier as the weeks go by, but I'm still challenged by a 6:55/mile. My "long" runs have been maxed out at 10 so far. There's not another 20:xx 5K in my immediate future, that's for sure :)
But I'll get there. Soon.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Granted, I'm in a closet-like workspace with a lock on the door, but still, topless. Weeeeeeeeeeeird.
Breastfeeding was been a big "thing" for me while I was pregnant. I had all kinds of issues with Charlie - bad latch, lazy eater, sleepy baby, weight loss - the end result of which was me being 100% chained to the pump. I still provided him with a full year of breastmilk, which I file away as a great personal accomplishment. This time I wanted things to be different! And, so far, they are. I would EP again for Em in a heartbeat, but it's so much easier this time. I can just grab her and go - no need to worry about dragging the pump along, finding time to fit in enough pumping sessions to maintain my supply, finding a relatively private space to plug in (pumping isn't something I'd want to expose the general public to). I can just pop out the boob and pop on the baby. It's wonderful!
But the pumping at work part? That, I could do without. The walls are thin here. I think that's one of the top 3 worst parts about working motherhood.
Friday, August 23, 2013
In some ways it feels like an eternity ago that I sat here and talked about how nervous I was for my induction and how excited I was to finally meet Baby Em - in the sense that I feel like I've always known her and that I can't remember what life was like Before.
In other ways I feel like I just blinked my eyes and my maternity leave is over (though I worked half the time I was out) and it's time to get back to real life. It's hard to believe that she's nearly three months old but at the same time it's hard to believe that I've only known her for three months.
And then there's the Big Kid - just thinking about time flying is enough to bring tears to my eyes. He turned FIVE this month. Five. Such an old number. This week, alone - on Monday he started Kindergarten, Tuesday I realized he had outgrown his carseat, and Wednesday we discovered not one but TWO loose teeth. I thought that he looked a little bigger and felt a little heavier, but wrote it off to being re-conditioned to holding a tiny baby. Nope, he's just doing what kids do.
I always thought that I wanted two kids much closer together in age, but now I can see the benefit to spacing them out. Watching the older one grow like a weed and become a new person seemingly overnight makes me appreciate these baby days even more. So for now I'm content to enjoy the weight of a warm baby napping on my belly (we'll pretend that sleeping anywhere else is even an option for her) and soak up as many cuddle hours as possible, because I can see the overwhelming evidence in front of me that these days that feel like an eternity of sore boobs, sleepless nights, diapers, and laundry, will be gone before I know it. Before I'd like.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Things would be a lot easier if I could get the hang out of either breastfeeding with no hands or phone-typing with one hand, but I'm adept at neither of those right now :)
Monday, June 24, 2013
7. If you're going to use a birth assistant, make sure they're willing to stand up FOR you and stand up TO you. When I was begging for the drugs, both my assistant and my husband did a great job at reminding me why I was going without it to begin with (even though I kept pointing at the IV bags and telling them "THAT is the reason why I was doing it, so it doesn't fucking matter anymore." And yes, direct quote. When it was all said and done, husband told me that he knew I didn't "mean it" because I was asking for permission, not telling them that I wanted the drugs. He said that he knew me best, and that if I had really NEEDED them then I would have DEMANDED them. Not asked for permission. True story.
8. When I received my hospital bill I was shocked to see a line item for an epidural. I guess they just assume that everyone gets one, and when I called to argue the bill they insisted that I must be mistaken and just not understood that I had an epi. So look carefully!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
For now, picture of baby squish!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
I can't get this song out of my head, partly because sister and I have been watching the new episodes of Arrested Development (plus some old classics to set the mood) and partly because I'm still pregnant, but not for very much longer. I'm going in at 8:00 for an induction. It's something that I never wanted to do, given the possible negative side effects, but the OCD part of my brain can't handle the what-ifs of going much past 41 weeks. Which I am, today.
I should be sleeping, but I've been up since 1:30 with timeable-but-not-painful-enough contractions. I'm trying to get them to turn into something more substantial by not going to sleep, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret this decision. Not like I was sleeping well before they started, anyway - how could I? It's like Christmas eve and the night before the first day of school multiplied by a million. Squared.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Happy Friday to me,
Happy Friday to me!
I'm still fucking pregnant,
So stop calling me!
(inspired by a fellow past-edd mom)
I would love to post this on the facebooks, but i know everyone is well meaning. I have one big conference call this morning and then I'm taking myself off work. I can't take advantage of sleeping late, because i keep waking up at 5 incredibly disappointed that I'm not in labor. I'm annoyed with myself, because I've been telling myself the whole time that i should count on a week late. Of course, now that the 21st has come and gone my brain is like "fuck that shit!" and i want to be done NOW. I was offered an induction for today, and while I'd like to avoid that if at all possible, I'm kicking myself right now as I sit in the basement because i have nothing better to do than work and keep up with my exercise routine. If i make it to another round of upper body work on Sunday I'm going to be very sad.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Total weight gain: 30
Sleep: I'm anxious and impatient and not sleeping well. Plus it's been so fucking hot here that it's impossible to sleep, and I just convinced the husband that we needed the A/C two nights ago. Last night was horrible, I just couldn't get comfortable.
Exercise: Still going, better this week than last week, actually. Had my membranes stripped at the OB this afternoon and then hopped on the treadmill when I got home.
Movement: Slower but more painful.
Food cravings: Trying to enjoy ice cream while I have a good excuse.
Happy or moody most of the time: My exact words this morning - "(bad night, bad night, blah blah blah...) now I'm cranky and I have to present at a data workshop today. Flying Spaghetti Monster help whoever so much as looks at me funny today."
Looking forward to: My sister will be here on Saturday! I hope the baby shows up before she does. Either way, her official eviction date has been set for next Tuesday. I'm only 2cm. Let's get this show on the road!
Monday, May 20, 2013
The baby was stirring, and it was no longer cute
What started out as sweet flutters and jabs
Had turned into barrel rolls and my ribs getting stabbed.
The husband is nestled all snug in our bed
While I toss and turn, no comfy place for my head.
The cat's in the hallway, yowling to come in,
The kid in the morning will ask "where's my sister?!" again.
When all of a sudden, as things looked so bleak,
I sprang from the bed when I felt a small leak.
To the bathroom I flew, this could be it!
But no, I just peed on myself. Again. This is shit.
The moonlight shone down on my belly so large,
While baby danced in delight - "ha! you thought YOU were in charge!"
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a glistening new stretch mark tracing over my rear.
Now come on! You're kidding me! I've come so far!
With one day left to go and my bag packed in the car?!
I couldn't be spared from this one pregnancy ail?
The lotioning and oiling was one giant fail.
Spicy food, pineapple, running don't work,
Neither does sex - that Old Wife is a jerk.
I've tried all the tricks, without any success,
I should just face the facts - baby knows best.
And so here I sit, impatient and bitchy,
The heartburn and joint pain are making me twitchy.
The baby still growing, a pound a day, there's no doubt,
For maximum impact when she makes her way out.
Discomfort is making me desperately plea
To the creature still holed up and comfy in me:
Come on, baby girl! This is total baloney!
If you come out soon, I'll buy you a pony.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
I've finally reached the stage of pregnancy where everyone thinks it's ok to comment on how HUGE I am. HUGE. HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE belly you've got there! And the "You must be so uncomfortable!" No shit. Could you tell by my amazing cankles? Or was it the fact that my face is bright red because I'm always overheated? Is it because I'm breathing heavily with the effort of walking up five flights of stairs after the building was evacuated? No, wait - it must be the fact that I'm wearing what amounts to a muumuu with flip flops in the office. I'm just a step away from Wal-Mart. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I'm glaring at you with rage just for standing in my area. You want to make me feel better? Go away.
Do you like my "I don't give a flying fuck" face? I'm wearing that specifically for today, because I have a four hour strategy meeting on the calendar. It's my own personal hell.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Total weight gain: 30
Sleep: Somewhat better, though turning over is pretty much impossible. Plus there's the whole getting up to pee at 2:00 every morning, like clockwork. And the damn bird who wakes up shortly after. What happened to birds waking up with the sun?
Exercise: I'm slowing down, but still staying active. Haven't run much since the Pig, but that's because I can't drag my ass out of bed anymore. I did have to cut a workout short one morning last week, I just couldn't finish it. Oh well.
Movement: Starting to slow down, which freaks me out.
Food cravings: I discovered Biscoff Spread, and my life will never be the same.
Happy or moody most of the time: I am one cranky bitch.
Looking forward to: The end, though I'm glad that I won't be missing Charlie's pre-K graduation on Thursday. Other than that, I'm over it.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Total weight gain: Still 28 pounds. Maybe I'll stay that way?
Sleep: An hour at a time before I have to change positions.
Exercise: Morning workouts are disappearing quickly, thanks to the aforementioned sleep issues. I ended up doing the half Pig, but really wish I had done the full. More on that later!
Movement: It's been hard to get used to the new position. I feel things in completely different places and it's weird. The vertex position also makes it harder to walk (and run) because there's a lot more pressure on my bladder. Rather unpleasant.
Food cravings: I may have eaten half of a veggie pizza for dinner last night. Yes, half. Don't judge me.
Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.
Looking forward to: The end. I'm torn because I have a lot of things to do at work between now and the 17th. But all things considered, I'd be happy with her coming sooner rather than later.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
I was all
Whee! Flying Pig? Game on!
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
ECV attempt at 10:00 tomorrow morning. If that doesn't work, they'll let me try again at 38, 39, and 40 weeks. If none of those work, we'll attempt a natural delivery as long as she stays butt-down. If she moves her feet underneath that changes things quite a bit and will probably result in a c-section.
I don't want to be cut!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Total weight gain: Same as last week, 28. Maybe I've plateaued? I visited a friend of mine yesterday to pick up some baby gear she's loaning us and she shared some cupcakes. I ate one in the pleasure of her company and then took the other one home with me "for later." Yeah, it was gone before I was even on the highway. Do you know how hard it is to eat a cupcake and drive a stick? Not as hard as NOT eating the cupcake!
Sleep: The anxiety over the breechness is making sleep nearly impossible.
Exercise: It's getting harder to motivate myself to get out of bed before 5 to get in my cardio workouts. I had a great 10 mile run on Saturday, though, so I'm really excited about the Pig again! At the minimum, I'll be able to walk the half. I'm still hoping for the full. It all depends on how things go this week.
Movement: I wish I wasn't so bad at figuring out what's poking me where. I have absolutely no idea whether any of my spinning babies attempts are working. More on those later!
Food cravings: Everything gives me heartburn.
Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.
Looking forward to: Finally finished sewing the diapers back together. I panicked yesterday because we have nothing on the walls of her room, so I'm printing out some of my favorite female book characters to frame. Still no fabric for the sling.
Let's get this show on the road!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
In the meantime, I'll step it up on the flipping techniques I've been doing every so often, including moving to the full inversion, which for me involves hooking my legs over the back of the couch and hanging upside down off the side. Too bad we cheaped out and bought an IKEA ironing board, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't support my weight.
I'm really stressing out about this, so please cross your fingers that she spins for us in the next few days! I really don't want to have a c-section. The OB I'm with is also a local celebrity for breech deliveries, so that option is also on the table.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Total weight gain: 28
Sleep: It's actually been better, comfort-wise. Still a pain (literally) to switch sides in the middle of the night, but at least the hour in between each position change is somewhat restful.
Exercise: Still moving. Nothing new.
Movement: I'm afraid that she's flipped again, since all of the hiccups are at the top of my belly. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.
Food cravings: Hot Buffalo Wing Pretzel Pieces. Yum!
Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.
Looking forward to: Still haven't made progress on finishing the diapers. Still haven't bought fabric for the sling. NOT looking forward to my Group B test at my appointment tomorrow. Talk about being violated.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
For example, I know that there was a point late in my last pregnancy when the anxiety started to get really overwhelming. It had been slowly getting worse, but there was a tipping point when I went through multiple sleepless nights worrying about whether the screening tests had missed a genetic disorder and then questioning whether he would have all of his arms, hands, legs, and feet, because I couldn't remember seeing them on the ultrasound. That was when I decided to ask for medication. Because I wasn't being fully honest with my reading audience, I don't remember exactly what that point was. I do, however, remember that it was right before my Cincinnati baby shower because the initial dosage was too high and made me nauseous and I was worried about feeling sick all day. So it was week 34 last time. Which is fascinating to me, because it's really starting to become a problem again, and I just entered week 35.
After waffling and consulting trusted friends and other resources, I decided to go ahead and sign up for the Pig yesterday. I was so excited and happy that I had finally made the choice to go ahead and give it a shot. That was during the day. Once the sun went down, and I was in bed and alone with my thoughts, it was a whole other story. What if I ran the marathon and somehow damaged my baby? What if I ended up with something worse than a damaged baby - no baby at all? Even though all of my OBs and midwives have given me the go ahead to cover 26.2 miles (and no, I have no plans to "run" all of them), thanks to the OCD I just keep conjuring up worst case scenarios. So now this morning I'm back where I started - should I do it? Should I just do the half, instead? What if something horrible happens? I know I'd never forgive myself.
But then I keep thinking - what if I didn't have OCD? Would this even be a question? Would I be worried about all of the things that could possibly go wrong? Or would I just be excited to cover the race course and get a giant medal at the end? What would a "normal" person think about the situation?
I'm not a dumb runner, I know that I'm good at listening to my body and backing off when I have to. I know that I wouldn't push myself past my pregnant limits. But what if, what if, what if?
So I think that at my 36 appointment next week I'm going to ask about getting back on anxiety medication. I can't keep sitting up all night thinking about awful outcomes. It was a good decision last time, so maybe I need to learn from that experience and take the help that's available.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
After the big finish, I went about my day. Until someone texted me with the news - that there had been explosions at the finish line and that it seemed like they were intentionally placed. Um, what? Another terrorist attack? At a marathon? And not just any marathon, but the biggest national marathon stage that any runner could ever aspire to be on. Today it seems that the death toll was thankfully low, though any loss of life in such a senseless act of violence is an absolute tragedy. In addition to the three who were killed, there were over a hundred more who were seriously injured. Hurt while either doing what they love, or while supporting loved ones who had worked so hard to make it to that finish line. And we aren't talking about the elite athletes, either - by that time it was the everyday runners - the people who are a little bit faster than the rest of the pack, but not so fast that they'll ever be given a major award. That and the charity runners, those who earned their spot in the pack by raising tens of thousands of dollars for cancer research, or heart disease, or any other incredibly worthy cause. Scary to think that it could have been me, or could have been any of the local running group people that I'm connected with (our entire local contingent made it out unharmed). So because there was nothing else that I could do, I dragged myself out of bed this morning when I really just wanted to hit the snooze button again and again, to go for a short run before work. Because so many of those people will never be able to do that again.
Beyond that, the Boston Marathon is a collective civic experience, a holiday with more than a century of history. Planting lethal bombs at any point on the course would have been a horrible, criminal act. The symbolism of planting them at the finish line, where so many have lifted their arms in exultation, is unbearable. (Bonnie Ford, ESPN)
Total weight gain: 27. Should hit that magic 3-digit scale number sometime this week.
Sleep: Nope. I hate sleeping on my sides. One of the things I'm most looking forward to is sleeping on my back again. Plus, husband had a man-cold, so he's been sniffly and snore-y and coughy and up almost as many times during the night as I am.
Exercise: Glad that I kept on keeping on, because I had a great 16 miles on Saturday. Only stopped to pee three times. I'm excited about the Pig again! Going to give it a shot, the worst that happens is I'm not feeling it that morning and I drop to the half.
Movement: Bigger, more defined, and more painful. But it's funny, and I'm trying to enjoy it since this is my last pregnancy, ever.
Food cravings: I had some Dogfish Hopricot last weekend and now it's all I can think about.
Happy or moody most of the time: Already annoyed with all of the "how much longer?" and "are you uncomfortable?" inquiries.
Looking forward to: Need to finish up the diapers. I got the laundry tabs sewn into all of them but only one set of Velcro on. Husband put the ceiling fan up last night, so all that's left is organization of clothes and diaper washing. And making that damn ring sling.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
I also saw my neighbor ladies walking their dogs. You know, the ones who haven't spoken a word to me since their candidate lost the presidential election? I guess the warmer weather and lighter skies have melted their cold and bitter hearts, because I actually got a "good morning" from them.
Giving 16 miles another try this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Yes, I'm late this week. Yesterday it was 80+ degrees out, so I went to the park instead of writing a blog post. Sue me.
Total weight gain: I think it's 27. I guess I'm keeping pace with that "pound a week" thing.
Sleep: I actually had two decent nights of sleep. Then we skipped right from winter to summer and it's really freaking hot in my room.
Exercise: I had a horrible run on Saturday. HORRIBLE. As in, I quit 2.5 miles in. I've never done that before. Thankfully, I had a good run yesterday morning, so I haven't given up completely. Giving it one last shot this weekend before I throw in the towel and drop to the Half Pig.
Movement: Regularly. Both Charlies get freaked out by watching it, which I think is hilarious. The younger Charlie always wants to hug his sister and feel her feet, but he wasn't a fan of the hiccups. He also enjoys it when I put things on my belly and she kicks them off.
Food cravings: Pizza and beer.
Happy or moody most of the time: Both. Because I said so.
Looking forward to: Managed to get all of the Velcro tabs off the old diapers. Holy hell was that a pain in the ass. Still trying to convince the husband that I really don't need to be driving to visit out-of-town family and sleep on an air mattress at 35 weeks pregnant. If he sees the light, I plan to sew on the new Velcro tabs and make my ring sling this weekend.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
How far along: 33 weeks. I'm ready to be done.
Total weight gain: +/- 26 - I'm starting to wonder how much I would have gained had I not been working out regularly. The thought scares me. I don't feel like I'm eating badly, either. I'm about a week away from a significant psychological scale milestone. I know it's coming, I know it's not a big deal, but I know that I'll still be OMFG! when I see it. Oh well. It doesn't help that I feel huge and I'm trying to figure out where seven more weeks of baby is going to go.
Sleep: Thanks to the creeping anxiety, it's getting worse.
Exercise: Made it 14 miles on Saturday and could have kept going! Backing off the squats with "real weights" for now, since I can't bend my legs even close to parallel anymore. Bringing back the kettlebells, instead.
Movement: I've got feet in my ribs, which is uncomfortable, but I'm happy with that because that means she's head down!
Food cravings: Chocolate. The Easter Candy Clearance was good to me.
Happy or moody most of the time: Both. Because I said so.
Looking forward to: Hoping to carve out some time to be productive this weekend - ordered the replacement Velcro for our BumGenius 3.0 collection and want to get to the fabric store so I can get started on the damn sling.
Monday, April 1, 2013
Since we began exercising regularly, running and yoga and good exercise sessions have really done a lot to help me manage anxiety levels and keep myself sane. Unfortunately, those are the very things that are causing me anxiety right now, including one really awesome panic attack on Saturday. I had a lovely (sloooooooow) 14 mile run that morning, walking 3 minutes and running 3 minutes, (or some kind of slow waddle-jog that I'm pretending is "running," anyway). Somewhere around mile 13 I convinced myself that all of the running I had been doing had surely deprived my baby of much-needed oxygen and that she would therefore be born with some kind of brain damage and serious developmental delay, which would be 100% my fault. As I always do after long runs, I broke out the doppler to make sure that all was well in there, and then proceeded to nearly lose my shit after it took an excruciatingly long full minute to find the best listening spot. I won't even get into the places my brain was going.
So then I spent about an hour consulting Dr. Google (a big no-no, I get that) and getting more and more frustrated that everything in existence talked about "theoretical risks" of fetal hypoxia and decreased blood flow, but that those were just ideas and nothing had been proven by real, legitimate research, which actually continues to show that exercise during pregnancy is beneficial to both mother and baby. Because I couldn't possibly be satisfied by that, I then got to thinking what the authors of said research actually mean by "moderate and moderately strenuous" levels of effort, and worrying about whether what I thought was a perceived 7-8 effort on a scale of 1-10 was just me underestimating how hard I was working and that I was really exercising at a level of 9-10 and just not realizing it (never mind how irrational that is, because pre-pregnancy my speedwork and interval training regularly pushed me well past the 7-8 range and into the 9-10 and it was absolutely unsustainable for long periods of time).
Then I thought about it and thought about it and thought about it (you know, I OBSESSED - because that's what puts the "O" in "OCD.") and eventually worked myself up into a full-blown panic attack complete with crying and sobbing and gasping for breath. And my poor husband and my poor kid were there to see it all spiral down. And my favorite friend R, who consoled me through gchat and eventually helped to talk me down from my ledge, who continues to listen to my anxiety ridden worry-fests and uses her very scientific perspective to help me see that I'm worrying over nothing. Especially since she has an MS in biology and knows a thing or two about how these things work. And my husband, who was still dealing with the remnants from it last night, who helped me to see that if there really was a cause and effect relationship, then surely there would be research that showed it and surely my own OB (plus two others that I visited earlier on the pregnancy) would have said Hell to the No about continuing to run and planning to run a full marathon.
Did this post seem rambly? Because that's about how my brain is working these days. I wish you could take them out to check on their well-being and then put them back in to finish cooking.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
How far along: 32 weeks. It's flying by and dragging ass at the same time. Funny how that works.
Total weight gain: 25ish, I guess I'm in the "pound per week" stage
Stretch marks: We've already covered that.
Sleep: Non-existent. I hate running at night. HATE. I skipped my early morning run today in favor of hopping on the treadmill later this evening because I was up from 2:30-4. Alarm went off at 4:30, just as I had finally fallen back asleep. I guess the bright side is that I was already awake when Charlie came padding down the hall because he had a bad dream about a "big smasher, that smashes people." (I giggled in my sleep-deprived state because it sounded like he was saying "dick smasher." I'm a horrible parent. And incredibly immature)
Exercise: Had a great 10-mile run on Saturday, hoping that I've figured out a good plan. Weights on Sunday and Monday, running tonight and Thursday, hoping for 14 miles on Saturday.
Movement: All the time, getting more painful as she grows. Hoping she's back to being head down at my appointment tomorrow.
Food cravings: Saturday was bad - I ran, so I don't feel as bad as I should, but I had a donut for breakfast, ice cream for lunch (I couldn't pass up the long-awaited arrival of Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz in my local grocer's freezer section!) and then a birthday party for dinner, complete with 10 different kinds of pizza, buffalo chicken dip, and possibly the best cupcakes I've ever had.
Happy or moody most of the time: It really varies hour to hour and by the company I'm in
Looking forward to: Still no progress on the moby or sling. Or the laundry. Or the room organization. Or decorating. Lots and lots to do.
Friday, March 22, 2013
I probably didn't start out very smart. I had helped my neighbor train for this race, her first half marathon, so we were running together doing 6 minutes of running and 1:30 walking. After our 10 miler last Saturday I resolved to lengthen the rest intervals after the Heart Half. Probably should have done it sooner. So we started out using our standard run/walk interval, which was actually fine at first, other than the fact that I had tied my shoe too tight and my foot hurt. That started by mile 3. Then by mile 5 I realized that there was no way I could sustain our run/walk system, so I told Angie to go on ahead of me with her cousin. Just because I was headed toward a 3-hour finish didn't mean I'd need to drag her down with me! So off she went, and I was alone.
It was a whole new experience, being pretty much all the way at the back of the pack, soldiering on long after the cheering crowds had packed it in. There wasn't much to look at and there weren't many people to talk to. I set my intervals at 3 minutes running / 3 minutes walking, but then threw that out the window and decided to run the flat and downhill sections and walk the uphills. Which was fine, but holy shit, there were a lot of uphills. A LOT of uphills. And my foot hurt. Running put a lot of pressure on my bladder and walking hurt my foot, so there was really no preferred way to keep moving forward. I know I should have just stopped to pee, but there was always a line and I just wanted to keep making progress. I'll keep that in mind for the Pig, though it won't be as much of a problem because that course has much better support. By the time I hit mile 11 the run/walk had mostly turned into a walk/run/limp. The bridge from Newport to Cincinnati has never felt so long. I finally made it to the finish line with a time of 2:50:something. A full hour slower than last year, but I still felt like I had accomplished something because how many people complete a half marathon 31 weeks pregnant?
I've never been more happy to not show up in any race photos. I was an absolute train wreck by the end. As you can see, I'm flashing my trademark "smile even though it hurts" grimace.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
How far along: 31 weeks. Holy cow.
Total weight gain: 24ish
Stretch marks: We've already covered that.
Sleep: Charlie spent his first night on the couch last week. First night ever on the couch in the history of our relationship. Apparently, I snore.
Exercise: Holy shit I ran the half marathon. It hurt. More details to come, probably tomorrow, when the feeling in my foot has returned.
Movement: There are a lot of cervix jabs going on. Very unpleasant. That and she's back to breech, so I'm very unexcited by that. I did get a surprise ultrasound to verify the position, though, so that was nice!
Food cravings: I could eat.
Happy or moody most of the time: Excited to get these last 10 weeks over and done with!
Looking forward to: Still no progress on the moby or sling. I'd really like to get those done at some point. Still have a lot of organizing to do, which is something I love.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
I'd say that the king-sized bed I had all to myself was nice, too, but I didn't sleep well thanks to nosebleeds. I actually snored so loud that I woke myself up, as I mentioned yesterday.
I've reached bowling ball status - I officially can't physically bend over to tie my shoes.
Yay for going home today! A full day early, and I'm so thankful.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
How far along: 30 weeks, but I keep telling people I still have 11 left.
Total weight gain: Not sure, I refuse to step on the scale unless certain things have happened the night before. I'm guessing about 22.
Stretch marks: After googling pictures of stretch marks, I guess I should just be glad that mine are thin white lines. Knock on wood.
Sleep: I'm out of town in St. Louis this week (for work) and actually woke myself up snoring last night. Between that and the nosebleeds, I'm not very well-rested.
Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. Had a very rough 10-mile run on Saturday, so I'm taking advantage of the elliptical machines and exercise bikes in the hotel gym and getting in some good low-impact cardio this week. Running a Half Marathon on Sunday!
Movement: Yes, and it's starting to hurt!
Food cravings: I could eat.
Happy or moody most of the time: Crankier than usual right now, since I'm wasting my time being out of town. Sad to be away from the family. Also cranky because running is getting more difficult and I don't know what else I can do for cardio.
Looking forward to: Taking Friday off and picking out fabric for my homemade ring sling and moby wrap!
Friday, March 8, 2013
As though I needed additional stress and anxiety-causing decisions, we've had a pretty awesome opportunity fall into our laps. Charlie is currently in a Montessori pre-school class and is doing incredibly well. At the risk of sounding like one of "those parents," he's already reading and writing and spelling and working on basic math, at four. I've always been a little hesitant to send him to our local public school, for a variety of reasons, but watching him progress in his current environment just makes it even harder to happily accept - when he turns 6 and starts 1st grade, he's going to be in a class that's just beginning to develop reading skills and hasn't even considered math. There are going to be kids who don't know their letters. Which is fine - we're lucky enough to have had such a great pre-school environment for him. So the plan has always been to keep him where he is for kindergarten, and then figure out where to go from there.
Part of that "figuring out" has involved me researching the hell out of all of our local private school options. There are a ton in our area, but it was easy to narrow the list based on religion (no, thanks), proximity to home and/or office, and budget (there are three schools that charge $20K/year. AYFKM?). One of the schools that ended up on my list is a Montessori school that runs ages 3-9 and is about to expand to age 12. We set up a tour and put in an application for a first grade spot the very next day, without a lot of hope because the program is pretty much always full. A few weeks later, I got a call asking if we would be interested in starting Charlie there this coming school year, for Kindergarten. It would guarantee us a spot for grades 1-6, and guarantee his sister enrollment at age 3, as well.
And so the past week has been a whirlwind of decision making, touring the public option to make sure that we were making the right decision, budget adjusting (it's actually a $ saver), and, most importantly, figuring out how to make the logistics work. I work a normal schedule and elementary hours run from 9-3, so there has been lots of talk at work about what would be an acceptable arrangement that would allow me to continue to work a full-time schedule but still be able to run drop-off and pick-up, since the school is right down the road from my office. In addition, we're searching for a new infant care center, since husband will be the one dealing with that set of drop-off/pick-up. It doesn't make sense to stay where we are and have him drive 60 miles in a day when he works from home.
I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with how I'm going to manage the new work schedule and how we're going to handle a normal school calendar rather than the always-open-daycare schedule - obviously this day was going to come at some point, I just figured I had another year to worry about it! Also sad about resigning from the school we're in now - he's been there since he was 12 weeks old and we've been so happy with both their infant care and their pre-school. But in the end, I know that this is the best long-term decision that we can make, from the Charlie perspective. I think he's going to be happy there, and that's all that matters. That's what parents do, right?
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
How far along: 29 weeks - 11 to go, but I'm psyching myself up for a later delivery (again) and calling it 12.
Total weight gain: 21.5
Stretch marks: Yes, ALL.OVER my butt. See yesterday's post for formal complaint.
Sleep: What's that?
Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. Got my 16 miler in on Saturday, with a very desperate pitstop 10 miles in. Learnings:
- I need to get over my stage fright, I should have used the bathroom at the park but my running partner was in there with me.
- I miss my immodium-fueled long runs.
- Running 6 minutes and walking 1 minute is good for pregnant me
- Turn off the pace tracker on the Garmin to save ego
Movement: All the time some days, not so much on others. I can tell she's getting bigger, as the movements are very visible from the outside when she gets going.
Happy or moody most of the time: The crankiness continues
Looking forward to: Organizing and (hopefully) Fridays off starting next week. I have a lot of stuff that I want to get done and no time to do it.
Monday, March 4, 2013
So leave a message and I'll call you back....
More accurately, I'm a walking spider web. As i feared, the one stretch mark that i noticed snaking across my right butt cheek last week has branched and spread like cracking glass, tracing a web of pale white lines across my already-pale derriere. I guess two pregnancies without mom scars was just too much to ask.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
I still feel guilty that we've been so bad about taking pictures this time around.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
How far along: 28 weeks - hello third trimester!
Total weight gain: 20ish. I'm really stressing out about the whole weight thing. I can see a total of 35 in the distance, and that scares me. I've been trying to eat well and I'm obviously still exercising, but I'm so terrified that I'm never going to lose all of the weight again. TERRIFIED. I keep hearing stories from other second+ time moms about how much harder it was to lose the weight with the second one than it was with the first and it just makes me feel stabby.
Stretch marks: I'm pretty sure that I can see them, but Charlie swears they aren't there.
Sleep: I did ok last week, but then something happened on Sunday night and I couldn't sleep at all. I kept rolling onto my back and waking up because I couldn't breathe, and then rolling onto my side and waking up because the heartburn was unbearable. I think it's time to build a pillow pyramid. Or sleep on the couch.
Exercise: Running, lifting real weights, kettlebells. I had an awful, awful time on my Saturday run. The plan was 16 miles, I got in 14.5 before I quit. It wasn't a cardio issue, my legs just didn't want to go anymore. I've slowed my runs down, for sure, which is fine. I'd say a good 1:30/mile slower. Also doing a lot of run/walking - I run with my neighbor, who is new to running, and she does 6 minutes running /1 minute walking. When I run on my own I've been walking a minute out of every mile to make sure I'm drinking enough and walking up long, steep hills. I think part of it is a fueling issue, I obviously can't pound the caffeinated gel packs every hour and I probably need to up the calories I'm consuming while I'm running. Maybe jelly beans aren't the best option. We'll try again this weekend and see how it goes.
Movement: Still inconsistent, still has me guessing.
Happy or moody most of the time: I have no patience. Especially at work. I try to swallow the bitchiness, but sometimes I just sit there while someone is talking to me and I'm annoyed at their mere presence in my space.
Looking forward to: More organizing. Sorting through clothes I'm buying from a friend. A re-do of my shittastic long run.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Nearly 5 years later, we're having a girl who obviously can't be named Charlotte. Well, obviously to husband, not as obviously to me. Sure, it would be kind of odd, but I still love the name, and it's still a family name on MY side, so we'd have both family trees well represented. But it's off the table because husband doesn't want people to think he's in any way like George Foreman. Ok, that's fine.
So I made a list of names, pulling from favorite literary characters and distant branches of the family tree and names that I had heard and filed away over the years. And then I made a second list of names, and a third, and used a site called Nymbler where you can put all of your favorite names in the search engine and it brings you back a new list of additions that have the same style as the ones you already know that you like, so that you can continue adding to the list of possibilities. And then I brought that final gigantic list to the husband. And he started vetoing and crossing things off left and right. And I was kind of sad, because some of those names were good names, but of course it's important to agree on such a big thing like the name of your child. So I brought him another list - which may have included some of the same crossed-off names from the first, just to see if he was paying attention (he was) and if he had changed his mind (he hadn't). And at the end of the lists and the crossing offs and the discussions and the debates, we're down to two names that are very promising. Two very different names, though, which means there will probably be no final decision made until we meet her in 12ish weeks and see which one she looks like. And then I started thinking about middle names (which, hi Charlie, I think I get more say on, because our first child is 100% named after you, after all) and decided which ones I liked best. And so I've been thinking about our child and what her name will be and didn't ever really stop to write out the initials, but then I did. And we're either going to have an LAG, an EKG, or an EGG. Lucky girl.