Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ever Have One of Those Nights

When you just can't turn your brain off? It's not even like it's obsessing over one thing in particular, which leaves even more room for thoughts to wiggle around in my head every time I think I've cleared the slate.

I've got two more weeks left of class, and then the final exam. I'll be so glad when it's over, but then I have to start preparing for the doctoral prelim exam that I'll be taking in the fall. Then there's the dissertation process. Can I really do this? Am I just setting myself up for failure in a department that doesn't really respect the kind of work that I do? What if I don't finish? That will be my second failed go-round. I don't even have an operational dissertation topic anymore and I'm feeling uninspired.

Charlie is starting to ask tough questions, like what happens when you die. I'm not ready to deal with that, yet. Mostly because, I don't know what happens when you die. I'm torn between being honest and telling him that I don't know, or making up something like heaven just until he's old enough to really understand. Husband is on the side of making something up for now. I think I'm starting to agree.

Work is stressing me out. We have a full project list and not enough people to do the work. It's a problem, but there's nothing that can be done about it right now.

My dad very nearly died of a heart attack 6 years ago. Since then, he quit smoking, started eating right, and stepped up on the exercise. I hated (and yes, that's a strong word, but there's a history there) his now-ex-wife, but she did a good job keeping him in line with diet and lifestyle choices. His new wife - not so much. From what I understand, he's stopped exercising and I'm worried about him.

Three months later and we've made no progress on the baby-or-no-baby decision. Husband just got back from a weekend ski trip with his brother, and I'm trying to plan a sisters trip for this summer. My heart hurts when I think about Charlie growing up an only child and not having these things in his future. I just can't wrap my brain around how you can go and spend 3 days having a great time with a sibling and then not want the same for your own child. Different strokes, I guess. I'm trying to gear up to move on, selling and giving away some stuff, but it still sucks.

I'll be really happy when this theory class is over. I feel like I've been out of the loop (sociologically speaking) for too long, and I have a few years' worth of research to catch up on.

My Google Reader has over 1,000 unread items. Just opening the tab makes me feel anxious, so I'm ignoring it :p

I guess the positive is that I'm finally starting to understand the benefit of long runs as stress relief. I've never really "gotten" it before, but there really is something therapeutic about being out before dawn, just you and the road, watching the world slowly come to life as the sun comes up. I hardly even feel guilty for not being at home reading soc theory, instead.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!

Got a nice surprise this morning - apparently some random guy decided to treat all of the women in Rookwood to coffee. He bought a gigantic giftcard and told the Starbucks peeps that women were to get free coffee all day. What a great surprise, especially after being up before the ass-crack of dawn to get my run in.

I also got a lovely homemade flower from Charlie.

Also, there's this.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Cupid's Undie Run

Well, we survived! We ran a mile and change through the frigid Mt. Adams streets. Once you got going it really wasn't so bad, at all, as long as the wind wasn't directly blowing on you. (The vodka and cranberry didn't hurt, either!) We took a turn down one street and were hit full on by a gust of the coldest air my stomach has ever felt.

There were plenty of pictures, and I did my best to end up in as few as possible. Here's a great one of my Running Buddy and I, just from the chest up.

As she pointed out, being in undies and a sports bra really isn't any different than being in a bathing suit. In some cases, it might actually be LESS revealing! Still, the fact that the bottoms are called "undies" and not "bathing suit" makes me not want to plaster it everywhere.

Of course, it wasn't all just for fun and games, it was to raise money for The Children's Tumor Foundation. The race originated in DC, and this year it branched out to six cities total, Cincinnati being one of them. The guy who organized our local (and lots of the participants) was the leader of a Cincinnati Crossfit gym, and those peeps are freaking BUILT! Those programs are supposed to be pretty intense, but it obviously works.

Here he is (fully clothed) explaining why we're all running in our skivvies.

And here is a link to the video from the actual event. You can see me in one shot, but I'm not going to tell you where or when. I had to watch and re-watch in order to pick me out in the crowd, so I feel safe posting it because I know I'm well hidden!

Run In Undies Helps Sick Children - Cincinnati News Story - WLWT Cincinnati

I'm already looking forward to assembling an actual team for next year. It was a ton of fun, and I can't wait to do it again.

(*Note to Self: Do NOT go cheap on the undies again next year, lest you have a repeat of the 1.something miles spent trying to keep the $3 Target pair from riding up your ass)

Friday, February 10, 2012

If This Isn't Crazy...


See that? Feels like 12* at 3:00PM. Guess what I'll be doing at 2:00?

You read that right. An Undie Run. It's exactly what it sounds like.

Big thanks to my Running Buddy for finding the craziest winter activity in the area (well, aside from Polar Plunges, which I'd really like to try sometime). At least it's only a mile!

Don't worry, there will NOT be any photographic evidence on the blog.

(interestingly, the capcha on tinypic for this was "cold feet" - makes you wonder...)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

He's Brady and he Blows It

I love Mike and Mike. I also love making up my own words to songs. I love the songs that they come up with on Mike and Mike, and this one just might end up being one of my all-time favorites.

I think they should let me come work for them. I'd write them a new song every day!

Husband Charlie hates that song, because every time he sighs about something (which is often, we're both big on dramatic sighs) I have to add a passionate "girl look at that body." It's my new favorite game.

But really, that Superbowl was a pretty amazing game. I love Eli.


Wednesday, February 8, 2012

As Seen on Campus, Part II

This is the building that I worked in for most of my undergrad years and all of my grad years. There's a little hallway in between the parking garage and the main building, with some very confusing signage.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Down with the Sickness

Sometime late last Saturday night Charlie started running a fever. Sunday morning it was up to 103. Monday morning, it was even higher, so we kept him home from school. Husband Charlie worked that morning, and I drove to the office around lunchtime for an afternoon meeting. Shortly after getting to work, husband Charlie was blowing up my phone that his temperature had spiked to 105. I called the pediatrician and sped back home (in my rental, which is a total POS. That's a story for another day).

Got to the pedi's office and waited and waited some more, before she came in and confirmed that it wasn't an ear infection, it wasn't strep throat, and it didn't sound like bronchitis or pneumonia, nor did it have the same symptoms of the flu.

All we could do was wait it out. And so we did. Husband Charlie stayed home on Tuesday, Grammie came by for a visit, I stayed home on Wednesday (and he seemed to be better, whipping spatulas at my head while trying to conduct a conference call). Yesterday it was back to school, with much drama after being at home for so many days.

We watched A LOT of TV. A LOT. Yo Gabba Gabba!, monster movies, animal movies, Blue's Clues. We had a heated discussion over whether Blue is a boy dog or a girl dog (it's a girl), talked a lot about why Sith Lords make lightening with their hands, why some jedis become bad guys (all the while I curse myself for letting him watch Star Wars - there have been some deep philosophical questions that I'm just not prepared to answer), all the important things in life.

Most of the time he just laid around all pathetic. It was sad.

And of course, this whole week has been a great source of anxiety as a working mom. Like any parent, when my kid is sick there's nothing I'd rather do than lay around on the couch with them. Unfortunately, I had a BIG meeting scheduled for Monday afternoon. BIG. As in, it's been on the calendar for months, there were lots of important people invited, and I've been working on my portion of the project for a long time. It was the last meeting before we tied up all the loose ends and presented it to the community next month. But needless (I hope!) to say, when Charlie called to tell me about the 105 temperature, it wasn't even a question about where I needed to be.

The constant push-and-pull that working parents experience is tiring. When you're playing one role, you're always worried that the other role is suffering. Pre-kids, I always thought that it was possible to be absolutely awesome at both parenting and working, but in reality, it's not as simple as it seems. You just can't be everything to everyone. I'm lucky that my employer understands that and doesn't force us to make tough decisions, but sad for the millions of other women who end up marginalized or out of work because of the lack of support.

(I'm not trying to leave the dads out of this discussion, but that's a sociological discussion for another time!)

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I'm really lucky, in that my organization is hugely supportive of me going back to finish my PhD. I actually have sanctioned study time! I'm a very lucky lady.


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