Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Final Countdown

I can't get this song out of my head, partly because sister and I have been watching the new episodes of Arrested Development (plus some old classics to set the mood) and partly because I'm still pregnant, but not for very much longer. I'm going in at 8:00 for an induction. It's something that I never wanted to do, given the possible negative side effects, but the OCD part of my brain can't handle the what-ifs of going much past 41 weeks. Which I am, today.

I should be sleeping, but I've been up since 1:30 with timeable-but-not-painful-enough contractions. I'm trying to get them to turn into something more substantial by not going to sleep, but I have a feeling I'm going to regret this decision. Not like I was sleeping well before they started, anyway - how could I? It's like Christmas eve and the night before the first day of school multiplied by a million. Squared.

Friday, May 24, 2013

A Song

Happy Friday to me,
Happy Friday to me!
I'm still fucking pregnant,
So stop calling me!

(inspired by a fellow past-edd mom)

I would love to post this on the facebooks, but i know everyone is well meaning. I have one big conference call this morning and then I'm taking myself off work. I can't take advantage of sleeping late, because i keep waking up at 5 incredibly disappointed that I'm not in labor. I'm annoyed with myself, because I've been telling myself the whole time that i should count on a week late. Of course, now that the 21st has come and gone my brain is like "fuck that shit!" and i want to be done NOW. I was offered an induction for today, and while I'd like to avoid that if at all possible, I'm kicking myself right now as I sit in the basement because i have nothing better to do than work and keep up with my exercise routine. If i make it to another round of upper body work on Sunday I'm going to be very sad.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

40 Weeks - Jackfruit

What the what?

How far along: 40 weeks. Ding! Fries are done.

Total weight gain: 30

Sleep: I'm anxious and impatient and not sleeping well. Plus it's been so fucking hot here that it's impossible to sleep, and I just convinced the husband that we needed the A/C two nights ago. Last night was horrible, I just couldn't get comfortable.

Exercise: Still going, better this week than last week, actually. Had my membranes stripped at the OB this afternoon and then hopped on the treadmill when I got home.

Movement: Slower but more painful.

Food cravings: Trying to enjoy ice cream while I have a good excuse.

Happy or moody most of the time: My exact words this morning - "(bad night, bad night, blah blah blah...) now I'm cranky and I have to present at a data workshop today. Flying Spaghetti Monster help whoever so much as looks at me funny today."

Looking forward to: My sister will be here on Saturday! I hope the baby shows up before she does. Either way, her official eviction date has been set for next Tuesday. I'm only 2cm. Let's get this show on the road!

Monday, May 20, 2013

A Story

Twas the eve of my due date, and all through my ute
The baby was stirring, and it was no longer cute
What started out as sweet flutters and jabs
Had turned into barrel rolls and my ribs getting stabbed.

The husband is nestled all snug in our bed
While I toss and turn, no comfy place for my head.
The cat's in the hallway, yowling to come in,
The kid in the morning will ask "where's my sister?!" again.

When all of a sudden, as things looked so bleak,
I sprang from the bed when I felt a small leak.
To the bathroom I flew, this could be it!
But no, I just peed on myself. Again. This is shit.

The moonlight shone down on my belly so large,
While baby danced in delight - "ha! you thought YOU were in charge!"
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a glistening new stretch mark tracing over my rear.

Now come on! You're kidding me! I've come so far!
With one day left to go and my bag packed in the car?!
I couldn't be spared from this one pregnancy ail?
The lotioning and oiling was one giant fail.

Spicy food, pineapple, running don't work,
Neither does sex - that Old Wife is a jerk.
I've tried all the tricks, without any success,
I should just face the facts - baby knows best.

And so here I sit, impatient and bitchy,
The heartburn and joint pain are making me twitchy.
The baby still growing, a pound a day, there's no doubt,
For maximum impact when she makes her way out.

Discomfort is making me desperately plea
To the creature still holed up and comfy in me:
Come on, baby girl! This is total baloney!
If you come out soon, I'll buy you a pony.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Comic Relief

I'm still here. This makes me feel better. That and Biscoff Cookie Spread. And the fact that I'm not going back to my office next week.

Watch "Mother Fucker Phone" on YouTube

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Hump Day Bump Day!

You know what sucks? When you wake up in the middle of the night thinking that maybe your water broke, but no, you just peed yourself. Hooray!

I've finally reached the stage of pregnancy where everyone thinks it's ok to comment on how HUGE I am. HUGE. HUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE belly you've got there! And the "You must be so uncomfortable!" No shit. Could you tell by my amazing cankles? Or was it the fact that my face is bright red because I'm always overheated? Is it because I'm breathing heavily with the effort of walking up five flights of stairs after the building was evacuated? No, wait - it must be the fact that I'm wearing what amounts to a muumuu with flip flops in the office. I'm just a step away from Wal-Mart. Or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I'm glaring at you with rage just for standing in my area. You want to make me feel better? Go away.

Do you like my "I don't give a flying fuck" face? I'm wearing that specifically for today, because I have a four hour strategy meeting on the calendar. It's my own personal hell.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

39 Weeks - Watermelon

Watermelon is one of the best fruits in existence. If you're looking for a nice summer drink, try this (http://www.compassrosemary.com/2012/09/01/watermelon-vodka-cooler/ if the link doesn't show for you). We discovered it last summer, and I can't wait to have one in a few weeks.

How far along: 39 weeks.

Total weight gain: 30

Sleep: Somewhat better, though turning over is pretty much impossible. Plus there's the whole getting up to pee at 2:00 every morning, like clockwork. And the damn bird who wakes up shortly after. What happened to birds waking up with the sun?

Exercise: I'm slowing down, but still staying active. Haven't run much since the Pig, but that's because I can't drag my ass out of bed anymore. I did have to cut a workout short one morning last week, I just couldn't finish it. Oh well.

Movement: Starting to slow down, which freaks me out.

Food cravings: I discovered Biscoff Spread, and my life will never be the same.

Happy or moody most of the time: I am one cranky bitch.

Looking forward to: The end, though I'm glad that I won't be missing Charlie's pre-K graduation on Thursday. Other than that, I'm over it.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Snocaps, Snack bag of Doritos, and Tucks pads

What is... Reasons CVS needs a you-scan station?

Yeah, that's pretty much the same look the male cashier had on his face, too.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

38 Weeks - Pumpkin

I was so excited when Woodchuck came out with Pumpkin cider. It was a huge disappointment. But even that is starting to sound really good right about now.

How far along: 38 weeks.

Total weight gain: Still 28 pounds. Maybe I'll stay that way?

Sleep: An hour at a time before I have to change positions.

Exercise: Morning workouts are disappearing quickly, thanks to the aforementioned sleep issues. I ended up doing the half Pig, but really wish I had done the full. More on that later!

Movement: It's been hard to get used to the new position. I feel things in completely different places and it's weird. The vertex position also makes it harder to walk (and run) because there's a lot more pressure on my bladder. Rather unpleasant.

Food cravings: I may have eaten half of a veggie pizza for dinner last night. Yes, half. Don't judge me.

Happy or moody most of the time: Easily irritated. Don't like talking to people.

Looking forward to: The end. I'm torn because I have a lot of things to do at work between now and the 17th. But all things considered, I'd be happy with her coming sooner rather than later.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Locked and Loaded!

So after a 90 minute wait at the OB's office this morning we got the best news possible when I hopped up on the table. At some point between 10:00 yesterday morning and 11:30 this morning, she flipped! Best. News. Ever. Really. And totally unexpected. I didn't feel a thing.

I was all

Whee! Flying Pig? Game on!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Short Update

Still breech. Booooooo.

ECV attempt at 10:00 tomorrow morning. If that doesn't work, they'll let me try again at 38, 39, and 40 weeks. If none of those work, we'll attempt a natural delivery as long as she stays butt-down. If she moves her feet underneath that changes things quite a bit and will probably result in a c-section.

I don't want to be cut!

Hump Day Bump Day!

I made Charlie take a picture of me after my long run on Saturday. It really was a great 10 miles, I felt good and ran happy and actually averaged a 12:30 pace, even with the walk breaks. Being conscious of my cadence helps a lot.
The picture was important because it very well may have been my last long run for a while, depending on whether baby girl has moved into the correct position or not. If she isn't head down, they'll try to flip her tomorrow morning. What I do in the Pig is completely dependent on how that goes. At this point, I definitely want to do the whole thing! I realized that last week when I was so disappointed thinking that it might not be a possibility, at all. I want the bling!


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