Monday, September 20, 2010

I Think I'm Losing my Mind This Time

So as I mentioned last week, Charlie appears to have forgotten how to sleep. I'm sure it's not as simple as that, but that's what it feels like.

He usually manages to fall asleep scream himself to sleep around 10:15, then is up again at 1:30, 4:00, 6:00, and sometimes even other times in between. It's not that I'm thrilled about letting him wail on his own, just that I'm completely out of ideas.

I feel like we've tried everything. Thought he might be scared (damn that whole abstract thinking thing), so we gave him a nightlight. Tried staying in there and rubbing his back until he was sleeping, which worked, until I moved an inch away and then he was back on his feet and screaming. Tried no blanket, more blanket, different blanket. Warmer PJs, cooler PJs. Checked his ears and checked his teeth. I even tried sleeping in there with him, but that didn't help, either. As soon as we shut the door he stands up, turns on his light, and screams. So we tried leaving the door open, and that didn't work. We tried leaving the light on. All he wants to do is go downstairs. Sorry, Charlie, you can't go downstairs. It's bedtime.

It's completely heartbreaking, because I feel like I'm letting him down somehow because I can't help him go to sleep. I also feel like I'm not being the best parent that I can be, because I'm running on no sleep and my nerves are shot. I'm getting frustrated and, dare I say, annoyed with the whole situation. When I hear him yelling down the hall in the middle of the night my first thought is "you have GOT to be effing kidding me," rather than wanting to rush to his room to see what he needs.

I woke up this morning thinking that I felt like a zombie. I know it must be really bad when I want to say that, because zombies scare the crap out of me and I go out of my way to not think about them, at the very least compare myself to them. I suppose the upside is that it's good birth control. It's worse than it ever was with a newborn because the checklist is so much longer. It's so far beyond just being hungry or needing a diaper change.

I'm hoping this is just a phase and he'll grow out of it soon. He's got to be tired, right?

3 comments:

  1. Charlie sounds like Ari! ;) Calloway will wake up occasionally during the night and yell out, but it's rare and he's usually dreaming. I'm hesitant to say anything about Ari's sleep because it seems to be changing, but I've been stuck in every-two-hour hell for a little over 10 months. Far cry from his brother!!

    Could he be overtired? Calloway goes to bed around 7:30, as does Ari. That's the only thing I can think of to suggest!

    Hang in there Momma!

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  2. Oh, BOOOOOO! Charlie, go to sleep!

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  3. You know Davis has had his fair share of sleep issues. We just went through a period of this maybe a month ago. Up constantly, crying, as soon as I'd get him back in bed, he'd be up screaming. It is brutal for the parents. And I am like you, my first thought is always, ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING!!! It sucks. Really, really sucks. I've tried every trick in the book and despite all the sleep issues we have had I still have nothing. I generally would just cave and let him lay in bed with me.

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