Maybe you've already seen this making the rounds on Facebook and the Blogosphere. If you haven't, then you're in for a treat. Any parent knows all too well the difficulties that kids often have with sleep. When they're babies, it's understandable. When they're toddlers? Well, at that point, they just look for any excuse to stay out of bed as long as possible, stalling and delaying and popping up unexpectedly until their parents are ready to pull their hair out. "It's too hot" or "Need a sip of water!" or "Cover my feet!" or the dreaded "Need to go potty!" Then there was that stretch last summer when it seemed as though Charlie had just forgotten how to sleep, altogether. That was fun.
Some guy decided to write a book about the phenomenon - the one thing that unites all parents, the one thing that EVERY parent can relate to at some point or another. He's my new hero.
And so, I present to you, "Go the Fuck to Sleep."
The full version of the book is downloadable as a Google Document. I can't figure out if it was accidentally leaked (wasn't originally slated for publication until next year) or if this was just a brilliant marketing campaign, but either way, I'm definitely buying this in hard copy as soon as it's available. It's just too good not to. I read it out loud to Husband Charlie last night, two short hours after our own 60-minute bedtime disaster, and I was literally crying with laughter. The tears were rolling down my face, and I could barely get the words out, I was laughing so hard.
I can't even decide which page is my favorite. Page 6 speaks to the repeated requests for sips of water, which is a common stall tactic that Charlie employs. Page 8 brings out the big guns - "Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom! You know where you can go? The f*ck to sleep."
So yes, it's kind of harsh at times, but really, what parent among us can't admit to feeling that way at some point? If you can, I invite you to come to my house and fix whatever it is that I'm doing wrong. No, really.