Those Jeans

When someone says "Those jeans make your butt look small," does that imply that most other jeans make your butt look big? Or that they think you normally have a large buttal area, but the pants you currently have on minimizes it?

Baby C's Thanksgiving

C and I are big foodies. He loves cooking, and I love baking, so it all works out very nicely. Thanksgiving has kind of become "our" holiday, and we definitely enjoy preparing lots of tasty food to share with our family and friend. This year was no exception. We had cheesy smashed red potatoes, applewood bacon stuffing, roasted green beans, gelatin-like cranberry sauce (my favorite part!), corn muffins, turkey with gravy, and apple-cranberry pie for dessert. In a homemade pie crust. Everything was from scratch, nothing out of a box except for the chicken broth to make the gravy. It was all pretty damn good, if I do say so myself.

So what did Baby C enjoy at our thanksgiving gathering? String cheese and animal crackers. AYFKM?

More Important Things

As I mentioned in my last post, there are more important things to worry about than repelling cloth diapers. That message smacked me across the face yesterday afternoon, when a fellow member of my online community tragically lost her son, who was only a few weeks younger than Baby C. My heart (and the hearts of hundreds of other women, all members of this community) is broken for her. I can't even begin to imagine the pain she must be feeling. It's one of those scary thoughts that comes to you in the dark, after you've shut the lights off and roll over to close your eyes. I cried for her, because I can't imagine having that taken away from me. The very thought of it makes my throat clench and my eyes water again right now.

How fitting that I'm awake at 5:00 in the morning on Thanksgiving, unable to fall back to sleep because I'm so sad for this mother and so thankful that my own family is healthy and safe. I can't wait for Baby C to wake up so I can give him a huge hug.

I Have Issues

Four of my BGs are repelling because of diaper cream. I was awake most of last night totally beating myself up over not being more specific in my instructions to use liners when you use diaper cream. C is pretty confident that he can fix it with his CO2 gun or some other solvent, but I'm still so irritated with myself about the whole thing. Those aren't the cheapest option, and I need them to last through potty training.

This is the issue with anxiety. I know that I was (am!) being irrational. I knew it in the moment, even as I sat in bed unable to fall asleep and wishing I could go back in time and not leave the diaper cream. It's just a few freaking diapers! There are obviously many more important things to worry about. I hate feeling this way about trivial things. I can't make simple decisions.

I needed to buy new detergent a few weeks ago and I literally stood in the aisle for more than 10 minutes, completely unable to make a decision about what brand/type to buy. I read label after label, debating the costs/benefits of each one. Do I want the one with plant enzymes? What if Baby C is one of the babies who has a reaction to enzymes? We'd have to buy a new bottle and strip his diapers. Do I buy Tide? I hate to buy that brand because it's animal tested and full of junk. Do I stick with the Charlie's Soap that we have at home? Even if C suspects that it's the reason some of our clothes have water spots?

I can't even decide what to buy for lunch when we're grocery shopping. Do I want sandwiches? Soup? Baked potatoes? I change my mind a million times and frustrate C and myself throughout the process.

Which apples should I get for my thanksgiving pie? Do I get the Jonagold apples? They're more expensive, but I know they're sweet and good for baking. Do I get the Golden Delicious? They're much cheaper, but I've never baked with them. I ended up bagging 3 pounds of Jonagold apples, then changing my mind 10 minutes later and going back to get Golden Delicious instead.

When it comes to the big things, like caring for Baby C, I have no problem knowing exactly what I think the best course of action is. So why with the most mundane decisions of all? I'm rather tired of it.

We need to buy some clothes, and I'm dreading it. Clothes shopping is the worst. C said he's going to get me a zoloft prescription before we go. I'm not sure if he was joking or not.

Baby C Does Bevis

As I mentioned in my last memo, Baby C's latest skill is taking his shirt off. The other night he got it stuck mid-way, and I had to get a picture of him doing his Cornholio impression.

Yes, I'm that immature.

The Peanut Grows!

Baby C has always been on the small side. He's been dropping his weight percentile since pretty much day one, and fell off the charts completely a while back after hovering at the 5-10%ile mark.

I always dreaded the weigh-in at his appointments. My pediatricians are generally fantastic, but I always wondered if they were judging me or blaming me when the numbers stayed so low. I never understood it, either, because he eats all the freaking time. It seems like every time I check in on the daycare webcam he's eating a snack.

He had his 15-month appointment yesterday and I'm pleased to announce that he's FINALLY on the weight chart! He weighed in at a whopping 21 pounds, 1.5 ounces, for the 7th %ile. Yay Charlie!

I don't think he looks that small, either.

A Different Kind of Compliment

We met another couple for dinner on Saturday night. The wife (K) was one of my BFFs in high school - we lost touch for most of our college years and then managed to reconnect through the magic of the interwebs. They don't have kids, yet, but hope to soon.

Anyway, K and I belong to a book club with four other women. None of them have kids, either, but another one of them also hopes to have them soon. The topic of discussion often turns to babies/kids/motherhood, and I guess I've become the resident discussion leader for all things mommy. K works with three of these women, and she said that one of them marveled over the fact that I'm a mom, but I'm still a person, too, and how great it was that I'm able to do that.

I had to stop and think about what she said for a minute. I'm a mom and a person at the same time. Is that really so unusual? She said that most of her friends who have had kids pretty much dropped off the face of the earth - they stopped hanging out with their kid-free friends and stopped making personal time for themselves.

I'll admit, it is more difficult now to spend time with our kid-free friends. We can't do things spur of the moment like we used to, unless it's an impromptu get-together at our house, which still occurs pretty often. It's easier for us to stay home and play host, since that doesn't require the added complication and cost of a babysitter. I wonder if they get annoyed with almost always coming to our house. We still manage to have a good time, even if my wine intake is now limited to one glass - I guess that was one of the lasting side-effects of pregnancy for me. Zero tolerance for alcohol. I think it's still important to maintain some kind of adult life, and I think it's important to maintain friendships with our kid-free peeps.

I'm Charlie's mom, and I love being Charlie's mom. It's the best thing ever. But I'm still me. Having a child changed my life forever, and changed certain aspects of my viewpoint, but I'm still the same person. I'm probably even a better person, as I've learned to be more patient and to appreciate the simple things in life. Maybe someday soon I'll also learn not to drop so many F-bombs.

Wish List Wednesday

Once again brought to you by The Foster Family blog :)



What are the top four books waiting for you to pick up?

I finally managed to pick up and finish two books that have topped my list for the last few months - The Time Traveler's Wife and The Handmaid's Tale. Both were excellent reads and completely lived up to my expectations!

That said, the list of books that I want to read is pretty much never-ending. Right now some of them are more practical than fun fiction, but it is what it is.

1. Understanding Exposure



I recently became the proud owner of a refurbished DSLR and I'm dying to jump in and learn every little thing about it. This particular book has come very highly recommended by a few photographer friends of mine. (side note - if you're looking at buying a DSLR, check out the factory refurbished section on adorama.com!)


2. Packaging Boyhood: Saving Our Sons from Superheroes, Slackers, and Other Media Stereotypes



It's true, I sold my soul to the corporate world a few years back. I stay true to my sociological roots, though, and gender socialization has always been an area that captured my interest. A message board mom mentioned this book and I've been dying to read it ever since.


3. The Yankee Years



I fully intended to buy this book the day it came out, but life got in the way. Joe Torre wrote this book about his time at the helm of the Great Yankee Dynasty. I'm dying to get a look at the inside happenings of those awesome years. I love the game of baseball, but it's the inner workings of the sport that really interests me - the scouting, the statistics, and the politics. We still miss you, Joe!

4. Harry Potter and Philosophy: What if Aristotle Ran Hogwarts?



I'm absolutely a Harry Potter junkie. I'm sad that there will never be another HP book to read, but I think this one looks like it could hold my attention for a bit. It features essays from 17 philosophers, and each one takes a look at different aspects of the HP story. The one that initially caught my attention is "Feminism and Equal Opportunity: Hermione and the Women of Hogwarts." Sounds like fun to me!


Hopefully at some point I'll be able to make it through all four of these books!

Before I Offend Anyone

I wrote a post complaining about the overboard holiday-related consumerism that I've been seeing lately. I posted it, and then a dear friend mentioned it and I realized with horror that she thought I might be talking about her.

I decided to delete it, rather than take the risk of unintentionally offending anyone.

Ear Infection, Round 2

Poor Baby C was diagnosed with a double ear infection two weeks ago. I didn't know he had an ear infection - there was absolutely no indication until it his eyes started to water and get all gunky. I was shocked to find out it was an ear issue. We got a prescription for antibiotics - 10 days worth. The 10 days were up last Wednesday. By Friday afternoon his eyes were watering and Saturday morning he woke up completely congested. Back to the pedi we went, to discover that his ears were still infected. Now we're on antibiotics, round 2.

The first one must have tasted better because he would actually sip it out of the spoon. I don't know what the difference is this time around, but we're back to holding him down and using the syringe, even after we paid $3 to have grape flavoring added to it. Poor kid spent the whole weekend looking completely miserable. Luckily, he acted fine for all of Saturday so we were able to get out and enjoy the freakishly nice weather. It all fell apart Saturday night, and Sunday was a very long day. Miserable baby makes for a miserable mom, and while it's not a good excuse, I didn't keep up with the shred this weekend. I feel the guilt, and I'm definitely back to it tonight.

Memo Monday

Let's Go UC!

Thanks to my dear friend Stephanie, I'm going to the UC game tonight! She won two tickets and invited me to share in the fun. It will be nice to return to our old stomping ground together :)





It's definitely nice to have a winning football team to cheer for these days.

Shred Discovery

I found out last night that there's an option to turn off Jillian! That totally made my day.



I'm not nearly as sore today as I was on Tuesday. I've also decided to pick up an old Weight Watchers habit and track my food. I realized yesterday that my willpower has pretty much disappeared. I think I need as much accountability as I can get, especially with the holiday season right around the corner. I'm not interested in denying myself holiday treats, so the focus will be more on moderation. I don't think I have to worry about alcoholic beverages this year, I certainly can't drink like I used to. No peppermint schnapps in hot chocolate for me!

(And no, I'm not pregnant. Why is it that when women talk about not drinking the only assumption is that she's pregnant?)

Day One

In the interest of having somewhere to be held accountable, I'm jumping back on the Shred bandwagon. I started it again last night and I'm paying for my weeks of couch-dwelling in today's aftermath. Ouch!

Jillian is so annoying. While the shred is certainly better than nothing, it's definitely not "replacing hours of phoning it in at the gym." I'm going to pull out some old Rage CDs for tomorrow's round.

I Feel Blobby

I know I don't really have any right to complain, seeing as how I'm actually below my pre-pregnancy weight by a few pounds, but I've been feeling rather "blobby" lately. While the number on the scale isn't anything shocking, it seems that the distribution of fat on my body has been radically altered. I'm having serious butt issues.

I know that I need to do something about it. I had been running 3-4x / week for a few months, but then when it started getting dark earlier I stopped because running alone when it's dark creeps me out. I live in a stereotypical suburban subdivision, but I just feel so exposed running through the streets after sunset. Maybe I need to get over that.

I don't want to get up and exercise in the mornings, because I get up at 5:30 as it is. I don't want to exercise in the early evening, because I want to play with Baby C. After he goes to bed at 7:30, my motivation to change, get all sweaty, and then shower again before bed is pretty much non-existent, and it's just too easy to sit on the couch and spend some quality time with my husband. We don't get to do that often enough as it is.

I really need to get going, maybe tonight will be the night.

I'll never learn

I just can't stay away from arguing on the interwebs! This was the latest debate I got caught up in. Names have been changed to protect the "innocent." Luckily, I have some very good buddies who held me back when I wanted to go back for more. Care to weigh in?

Question: "Do you think women should be forced to cover up when breastfeeding in public?"

OP
I'm not sure I'd say FORCED. I think it's probably something most people don't care to witness, and if you wouldn't normally whip out your boob for everyone to see, not sure having a baby would change that. I know if I am fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed, I intend to keep covered up in public. You're all welcome. :)


moron
i'm totally gonna let my boobs hang out when Henry arrives.... especially when we're in public! ;)..... lol j/k.... i didn't know that we had an option to not cover up.... but I absolutely plan to cover up..... them things are home grown..... and don't need any more eyes on them that the mouth the needs the nutrients from them :)

OP
haha yeah no way would I personally be comfortable doing that. Even with such a big background in dance and skating, where there is absolutely NO modesty, lol. I have occasionally spotted someone BFing where, wow, there's their boob and I immediately look away all awkward and embarrassed feeling like I violated their privacy. Which is ridiculous, but still. Blanket over the girls all the way!

moron
totally agree, i registered for this wrap thingy for BFing :)

OP
Atta girl! I'll probably be wanting the same thing.

Jene
The problem is, when they talk about "covering up" in public places, they're usually talking about something along the lines of throwing a blanket over the baby's head where it meets the breast. Can you imagine how uncomfortable and hot that would be? There's a big difference between being discreet and letting your breasts hang out for the world to see.

sensiblechick
It does not bother me one way or another. OP, as to the violation of their privacy, if they really felt that way they would either cover up, or go to a bathroom, or something along those lines. It is a natural part of the human experience and I think that people have forgotten that.

twit
I think the best thing a mother can do is go somewhere discreetly. I've had it all...I was at Burger King with my family and a lady caddy-corner from us whipped out her boob, no cover, nothing, saw way more then I needed to see...I was quite disturbed for sometime...I've seen it done at church, of all places, right there in the pew, during the service, right next to me on a couch, while I was having a conversation with that person...I think the most discreet I've ever seen someone do it, was where a lady was in the bathroom sitting on a chair with a blanket over the baby's head...

I agree with you 100%, whenever I see someone do that, I feel like I'm invading their space, its a very uncomfortable feeling and I will take that into consideration whenever I have a child.

Jene
No freaking way will I be feeding any child of mine in a bathroom. Would YOU eat in a bathroom? How unsanitary is that? It's a natural part of life in almost every other country. It's only deemed offensive because breasts have been almost completely sexualized by our society. I'm disturbed that anyone was disturbed by one of the most natural acts possible.

twit
Believe it or not, there has been a study done that Ice Cubes have more germs than a bathroom..and sanitary? How sanitary is it to eat from a boob that has been sitting in a sweaty bra all day long? And I was disturbed because I was 10 at the time :0)

Jene
Ok, that has got to be the most ignorant thing I've ever heard in my life. Breastmilk is the best thing you can give a child, straight from the freaking tap. You have GOT to be kidding me.

How Sweet it Is!

The World Series Championship is right back where it belongs - in The Bronx!







I love baseball, but I'm glad that I'll finally get to go to bed at a reasonable time. No more midnight 9th innings!

Today more than any other day I wish I had Buster Olney's job.

Bearcat Charlie

Baby Charlie went as the UC Bearcat for Halloween, sporting a super cute costume made by his grandma.

Bearcats are Number One!






Apparently Bearcats eat cheddar goldfish




He didn't really "get" trick-or-treating, so we only went to one house.



They gave him a Tootsie Pop, and he was more interested in taking it out of his bucket than having people put other things in. We had fun running around in front of the house and passing out candy. He got a lot of compliments on his ears and tail :)

The Joys of Adulthood

Last Wednesday I started the dishwasher during the 7th inning of Game 1 to drown out the sound of the Yankees losing. While we were making dinner on Friday, I opened the dishwasher to stick a bowl in, assuming C had already unloaded it, and it was still full. C said that he hadn't unloaded it because it hadn't been run it the night before. I was pretty positive that I had clicked the start knob, because I remember the relief of Joe Buck's obnoxious voice being muffled by the jet engine-like roar of our machine. I started to question my sanity when I noticed that the detergent cup was still full of detergent. Ok, we'll run it again. We turned it on, went about our business, and opened it up again a few hours later to put the dishes away. Still not clean, still full of detergent. WTF?

We did some investigating, and discovered that there was no water being pumped into the tub. A little bit of googling and C's poking around and taking apart of the machine showed that the solenoid was busted. Still more googling and some asking around later, we faced the fact that we'd have to buy a new dishwasher. So that's how we spent our Saturday. I got up early to scour Consumer Reports and do some price hunting. The interwebs have made tasks like this much simpler. I narrowed our options down to three potential models, hit up the six major appliance retailers in our area, and started tracking prices. Much to my dismay, Best Buy had the best price on all three models.

We packed Baby C in the car and trucked over there, only to be completely ignored for 30 minutes while the "associate" was helping someone else. The customer service desk shrugged me off, so I called HHGregg and asked if they would match the price. I swiped the price sticker off the BB model and we headed across the street, where we purchased our shiny new black dishwasher with no hassle.

It's supposed to be delivered and installed today, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't kind of excited.

Oh, and hand-washing dishes really blows. I had forgotten just how bad. We *may* have a sink full of dishes from the last day or two waiting to be part of the inaugural load.