I've never really met A in person, but we've been active on the same local message boards for years and we've crossed paths at the occasional large-group get-together. A and her husband worked hard at getting pregnant. They finally did, last year, and were expecting a girl. Sadly, her water broke at 18 weeks and they lost their precious daughter Addyston. A few months later, they became pregnant again, this time with a boy. Again, problems cropped up around the 18 week mark - they were able to stop labor for a while, but she delivered their son, Michael, at 24 weeks, the very edge of viability.
Michael continued to grow in the NICU, and made good progress. There were constant positive updates from A about when they were able to hold him for the first time, when he was able to breathe normal air, when he ate well, when he gained weight like they wanted him to - it really looked as though he was going to beat the odds and one day go home to his parents.
Then, last week, he took a turn for the worse. They weren't exactly sure what the problem was and tested and tested until they found out. Unfortunately, the news wasn't good. Little Michael fought for eight long weeks, but the fight ended early Saturday morning.
It's times like this that really make me ponder the whole faith issue even more. Why do such horrible things happen to such good people? In all the years I've known A, she has been nothing but nice, welcoming, friendly, kind-hearted, yet she has had to bury two of her babies in the past year. What kind of higher power could possibly allow that to happen? The faithful are quick to jump to the whole "everything happens for a reason" and "it's just part of the grander plan," but I just don't get it. And I'm ok with that. I'm good with where I am.
But then, at the same time, part of me almost wishes that I *did* get it - that I was so secure in just *knowing* that everything happens for a reason, and that Michael is playing happily with his sister in some kind of utopian afterlife.
Please keep A and her family in your thoughts and prayers. She is one of the strongest women I know.
And to think, I was upset about missing the 4:00:00 marathon mark. Hug your families. We are so lucky to have them.
Is your last statement the reason? Certainly that much pain and suffering is not needed to remind us of simple gifts we have. Life is both wonderful and painful. Don't believe in "a reason" or "destiny" but I often look for meaning.
ReplyDeleteWe probably won't find the meaning but the search for it can be productive.
I have a close friend - 2 years younger than me (only 29) with a son the same age as mine. She was just diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. Sometimes I forget to have perspective, then I too am reminded how totally lucky I am. I'll keep your friends in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that most people of faith rely on the reasons you mentioned, when the Bible explains why terrible things like this happen to wonderful people like your friend. The sad part is that most people assign the blame to God, because they say that it's "all part of his plan." How could that be true when the Bible says:
ReplyDeleteJames 1:13 - When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone.
Deuteronomy 32:4 - The Rock, perfect is his activity, for all his ways are justice. A God of faithfulness, with whom there is no injustice; Righteous and upright is he.
Job 34:10 - Far be it from the [true] God to act wickedly, and the Almighty to act unjustly!
1 Peter 5:6, 7 - Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt YOU in due time; while YOU throw all YOUR anxiety upon him, because he cares for YOU.
1 John 4:8 - God is love.
So then, why do bad things happen to good people?
1 John 5:19 - We know we originate with God, but the whole world is lying in the [power of the] wicked one.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 - I returned to see under the sun that the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise also have the food, nor do the understanding ones also have the riches, nor do even those having knowledge have the favor; because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all.
Romans 5:12 - That is why, just as through one man sin entered into the world and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned—.
So, will God ever do anything about this?
John 5:28, 29 - Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life, those who practiced vile things to a resurrection of judgment.
Revelation 21:3, 4 - With that I heard a loud voice from the throne say: “Look! The tent of God is with mankind, and he will reside with them, and they will be his peoples. And God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”So that's my two cents on things. I can't imagine the pain and anguish that losing two precious children would cause someone. It's almost unimaginable. The only thing that gets me through is knowing that God promises that one day we'll never have to endure terrible things like this.