One of my favorite working mom bloggers announced on Monday that she's leaving her job to be a stay-at-home-mom. This isn't the first working mom friend of mine who has done this. It's happened a lot over the last two years. Every time it happens, I'm very happy for them because I know that they're making a decision that will make their lives more bearable, but I'm also irrationally sad. I almost feel as though I'm losing a club member, a part of an exclusive clique of moms who are bound by the common thread of trying to balance work and family.
The reason is always along the lines of "it's just what's best for a family," or "I want to be the one raising my kid," or "it's where I belong." Then I start to wonder if there's something wrong with me, because I don't want to be a stay-at-home-mom. I finally have a job that I love, doing something that has the potential to make a huge difference in the lives of thousands of people. I like working, I like the adult interaction, and I like the intellectual stimulation. Sure, I would love to work part-time or have a flex schedule, but we depend on my income so it's just not possible.
Most of the time I'm fine with that. Sometimes I'm not. When women that I've bonded with over that common thread start deserting their posts to be something that I don't really want to be, I start questioning myself and whether or not I'm "short-changing" my child, as it has been put to me by so many anti-working-mom idiots. If these well-educated, professional women truly believe that they're doing the best thing for their child, does that mean that I'm not? Will they judge me, now that they're on the "other side?" Is there something wrong with me because I don't want to stay at home?
I'm sure the answer to all of these questions is "no," but that certainly doesn't stop me from asking them.
